HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THESE THINGS
Wait and read this; it will enable you to check the marriage readiness of your partner before you take the decision to move further with the relationship. In fact, many of us fail to do the due diligence necessary about our supposed would be partners before jumping into relationship with them.
The following are to enable you to assess whether you did what you were supposed to do at the time before saying yes to tie the knot. If you are now preparing to go the long haul then this article would assist you to make the right decision through you own observation and by asking the right questions
1. WILLINGNESS TO DISCUSS MARRIAGE ISSUE WITH YOU
What is marriage after all, you asked? Even though marriage is described varying from social, legal, cultural and socio-political point of view, for the sake of this post, marriage is described as: The mutual relationship of a husband and wife (wedlock): the institution whereby, men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family.
Now that we have been able to situate marriage in context, we can now proceed with the discussion. Has your partner been able to start a discussion about marriage; (what plan he or she has in mind about marriage, raising kids, finance or the date and year he or she plans to marry?) If you have been dating for the past two years and nothing of a sort came out of your numerous discussions with your partner, reassess him or her to check about the readiness to start a family with you. May be, you are the free going type and never bothered about settling down, but if you plan to start a family, or possibly raise kids, then this issue must be discussed carefully between you and your partner. But avoiding marriage discussions when you intended to settle down should give you a wake up call
It is common these days to see people dating for more than 5 years without any plan for marriage. Why is marriage being perceived as a monster? One lady told me, ‘’She better date as long she wish, than to be trapped in the name of marriage, with a wedding ring on her figure’’. Surely, she has cataloged a lot of reasons to justify her claims. Everybody is right in the way he or she thinks, but, if you are ready for marriage, then you are the reasons for this post. In fact, many young men and women are scared to enter into this noble institution, because of the wrong perceptions fueled by propaganda by some activists who don’t believe in marriage.
If you are in a relationship with the intention of settling down and be recognized by your state, then you must engage your partner in discussion about your marriage plan. Every state has its own types of marriage that it’s recognized. Check from your local authority or county to know the types that are available to you. If your partner continues to brush aside marriage discussion, anytime the issue is raised, it is a pointer that he or she is not ready yet for marriage. Don’t force him or her into marriage; it is better to experience a failed or broken relationship than a broken marriage.
2. WILLINGNESS TO INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS OR HER CLOSE FRIENDS
I know you might have been dating for quite some time now, that’s great. But, have you yet been introduced to his or her friends that matter to him or her? Try and find out from him or her; those significant friends that matter to him or her. Start from his or her close work colleagues and try to get introduce to them. This introduction is important because, it demonstrates to you that your partner is not dating other ladies or guys secretly behind you. Yes, indeed, our significant friends serve as a check on what we do, because we are social beings. If you‘ve been dating for more than two to three years and yet, you have not been introduced to at least two of his close friends, then, something is missing somewhere.
Anybody who is deeply in love wouldn’t hesitate to introduce his or her partner to his or her friends within a year. People described love as a dynamo that explodes, especially in the initial stage of any relationship. Anyone who loves you would make you known immediately because; he or she would feel proud to introduce you to those who matter to him or her. Don’t accept any excuses not to be introduced; you are not a partner in shadow. You deserve to be publicized.
Give him or her deadline to be introduced, if your partner fails to honour the deadline without any reasonable justification, just walk out please and meet the right person to have you and get the world to know about you. Introduction in a relationship is very crucial if you intend to become Mr. and Mrs. In the future
3. READINESS TO INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS OR HER PARENT
This stage is very crucial if really you are the dream love of your partner. In fact, after you have been introduced to his close friends, the next level is to test the ‘waters’ by being introduced to the parents. It gives the parent the opportunity to know who has won the heart of their son or daughter and whether or not the right choice has been made.
If he or she is ready to do so, give your partner a thumb up. However, if your partner refuses to do so after a couple of requests, quit, because you are not the right person for him or her. The approval of the parent is so significant because, they will be the main stakeholders who would give their blessings to the marriage, if all things being equal.
Your introduction would make you to know whether you are being accepted through the way you are received. Many good parents would give you a few advice about their son or daughter and what they expect from you. Some of the guys fooled their partners by giving flimsy excuses to delay introduction to their parents. If he refused to introduce you after several attempts, please, don’t hang on, hope and pray that things will change. He is not just ready for you or you are not the best person he or she s looking for, but taking advantage of you to satisfy his or her insatiable sexual desires.
4. WILLING TO INVITE YOU TO HIS OR HER PRIVATE RESIDENCE IF HE/SHE LEAVES SEPARATELY FROM THE PARENTS
Don’t be surprised if he or she refuses to send you to his or her residence. You can’t date him or her without knowing where your partner’s residence is. If, you usually meet in a guest house, a hotel or a friend’s place, then, you have to be observant and do some background works. Some women don’t know the actually residence of their partners, because their partners are not ready to do so.
Your invitation to the house indicates that he or she is not hiding any secret affair from you, hence their willingness to make you known to their neighbours. I know some of you who come to the house, come in late and leave very early without anybody knowing you. In many relationships, the guys normally try to outsmart their ladies, so, please be observant and keep your eyes wild open. Don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of as a result of his “sweet talk”. Watch out and advice yourself if he is not ready to introduce you to a few of his neighbours, advice yourself. Some women are equally guilty in outsmarting their partners; because some can date more than one guy at a time.
5. WILLINGNESS TO WAIT FOR SEXUA L GRATIFICATION
This is not possible, you probably said. I know many of us can’t wait to be married before allowing the ‘golden apple’ to be eaten. A lot of women allow their parties to be removed too early, only to realize that the guy is not ready for marriage. Sad, isn’t it? I can’t exonerate myself from this regard, because I found myself disappointing someone before meeting my wife. Sexual gratification should not form the basis to determine how good your partner will be in marriage
We had enough sex but no marriage. I apologized to all women who fall victim to this bad behaviour of men. I want women to be careful in order not to equate sex to love. They mean two separate things to men. Sex does not necessarily mean love, from men perspective. When a man found the woman of his heart, he can wait as long as possible to marry her before sex. I know you are adults and seriously in love. That’s nice to hear, but how would you feel if after all these things you are not being married and someone has taken your place. What if you are pregnant? Would you commit abortion and feel guilty for the rest of your life? In one of my earlier post, I strongly opposed to long dating, because of its many associated problems.