IF YOU WANT TO KNOW YOU WILL KNOW
5 THINGS YOU MUST KNOW WHEN YOU BECOME A PARENT
It’s good to have a desire to want to have children and settle with your spouse in a happy family life. However, everything is wrong when we failed to take note of these hard questions that would stare at your face once you settle in family life.
Your ability to ask yourself these 5 questions would go a long way to make you a better and a happy family.
1. ARE YOU READY FOR THE TASK A HEAD OF YOU AS A PARENT?
To a very large degree, once you want to become a parent, bear in mind that you have to put on the ‘sacrificial belt’. Now that you become a mum or a dad, you must know that you must always think of the wellbeing of the family first before considering yourself.
Are you really prepared to sacrifice everything for the family and go the extra mile to make things happen in the family? If you do, bravo, go ahead. You have my full backing.
Your family must come first in everything you do, henceforth. Your preoccupation is to ensure that the family is kept safe and nourished. No more personal decision without the input of your spouse. Gone are the days when you could take decision on your own and sometimes make very personal decisions, but now, No. You must look at the bigger picture this time round and factor in your family. Ask yourself this question: how would my plan affect the wellbeing of my immediate family. Is it good going ahead with the decision or suspend it altogether.
2. DO YOU STILL KEEP A SECRET LIFE?
Do you know to a large extent you have no secret to keep as a family person without making it known to your spouse? If you still issues to yourself without divulging it to your partner, then you must revise your note and put a stop to it.
You must also be aware that you can’t guarantee what may happen tomorrow, so the earlier you open up to your partner in the relationship with your partner the better for you.
Your very house is no longer for you alone but for all members of the household. Your wife and children are members of the household. You should endeavor to create space for interaction between all members of the household. Don’t withhold anything secret from your spouse. Your spouse should be the first to know whatever move you are making.
It is a big mistake to see married men or women who still want private life irrespective of their current marital status. This selfish attitude of married couples trying to maintain secret life from their spouses, has been one of the many causes of divorce, if the secret life comes out eventually. Please take note of the fact that you are no longer single and you must do things together if you want to succeed in your marriage.
3. ARE YOU PREPARED TO SEE THINGS SCATTER AND DISORGANIZED EVERYDAY?
I hear people who want their home to be neat and very clean and at the same time want to have children. Don’t deceive yourself. Once children start coming in, you must get prepared to see pieces of papers, crayons, pencils and cutleries scattered all over the place.
Your kids will be picking and scattering things all over the place in their formative years as they interact with their immediate environment, the home. Be prepared to keep on arranging things in the home as often as possible at this stage of your children’s growth.
See this stage as a stage when your children are learning from the environment. If you are the type who want to see things arranged properly and organized, you may be overwhelmed about their behaviors, but don’t be worried too much about this stage. Just relax and see it as a passing stage to adolescent life.
4. DO YOU WORRIED ABOUT YOUR SHAPE AS A WOMAN?
The hard truth is that about 90% of women who give birth never return to their original slim sexy shape again. Most women will lost their shape to child bearing. The hormonal changes that occur after a woman has given birth is attributed to so many factors including breastfeeding, antenatal and post natal drugs due to surgery, sedentary life of most breastfeeding women. Whatever the case may be, certain aspect of you will definitely change.
Mr. Husband, your wife will not be the same woman she was before marrying her. She will undergo changes as you welcome children into the home. Be ready to support her in this changing times. Some women become emotionally disturbed when they realized that they have lost their beautiful body shape. Accept the changes she will be going through and help her with exercises for them to adjust.
According to babycenter (www.babycenter.com) the adrenal gland that secrets hormones for the body often become fatigue after month of sleep deprivation and producing milk for the body.
Jennifer Ritchie, (www.thebump.com) IBCLC and author of I Make Milk…What’s Your Superpower? Advice breastfeeding women to take these simples steps to lose weight:
1. Don’t pressure yourself
2. Make savvy substitution
3. Set yourself up for success
4. Eat smaller, more frequent meals
5. Cut calories-but not too much
. Work in exercise and
7. Keep at it
If you are not yet ready to accept this reality check, then think again about your decision to become a parent.
5. ARE YOU READY TO FACE CHALLENGING TIMES?
Every marriage is unique and goes through specific challenges. Your marriage cannot be different. You should accept the challenges as they come and deal with them as couple. Marriage is a long journey and not a football game with a time frame of 90 minutes. You must develop a thick skin and subdue self to the background.
Running to your mum or dad should be the last thing to do. So many factors are claimed to be responsible for the high divorce rate across the globe. I have also identified these ten (10) reasons as contributing to divorce in our marriages.
1. Breakdown of trust due to infidelity
2. Disrespect for each other
3. Too much of ‘I know my rights’ in the marriage
4. Pride and arrogance
5. Unwillingness to submit to each other
6. Inadequate money for maintenance
7. External influence from friends, in laws and the social media
8. Lack of headship in the home.
9. Un-appreciation on the part of both spouses
10. Criticism, where the man or the woman is not satisfied with anything.
These 10 are my research findings after 15 years of studying divorces filed in the court and my personal interactions with couples who have separated or divorced.
Guide your marriage if you are a born again believer of Jesus Christ through prayer. Don’t join the list of divorcees.
If you can get 4 out of 5 the five questions above then you can become a responsible parent or you are a responsible parent, congratulations.
Share your experience with me and give me what is missing on the list. Send me an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org