IF YOU HAVE NOTHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT SOMEBODY YOU BETTER SHUT UP FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
Whether we admit it or not, there’s gossip everywhere-from the clergy to discuss sex abuse among some Vatican officials to Donald Trump- to discuss his unpredictable global leadership style as a president of the United States of America.
We all find ourselves in the web of gossip at one time or the other talking about things that has absolutely nothing to do with us and for that matter our life goals and aspirations.
Even though it’s not so easy to pen a definition for gossip, the vocabulary.com attempted a broad explanation that I think is relevant to my argument. According to Vocabulary.com, gossip is a conversation that’s light, informal and unusual about other people’s business.
It can be fun to gossip about others, but no one likes it when they are the subject of gossip.
Now, let take a look 5 dangers of gossips and why we should not entertain any bit of the fun associated with gossips.
1. GOSSIP DESTROY PEOPLE’S HARD EARNED REPUTATION
People build their reputations over the years by working hard to get to where they are today. It doesn’t come easily as many people are made to believe. You’ve to pass through the thick and thin of life-both good and bad times to reach your goals.
But one hell of gossip can spread like wildfire and destroy what people have worked for over the years. What’s more disturbing is the phenomena of using social media to facilitate the rumor.
As a society that claims to be living in the civilized world, we should do all we can to to eliminate gossips in our social life because gossips destroy people’s hard earned reputation. It could be you someone today, but wait, when you are the subject of gossip tomorrow.
Don’t join people whose habit is to malign people and destroy others- so that they can appear to be better and assume some false sense of importance.
Gossips is dangerous in all its forms, don’t contribute to its spread.
2. GOSSIPS DESTROY FRIENDSHIPS
A military officer can’t take it anymore than to divorce his beautiful wife whom he had one child. The unfortunate man always has to settle scores with his colleagues’ military officer’s wives on behalf of the wife. Everybody in the barracks knows that his wife is a professional gossip. She can’t keep quiet about anything she sees and hear.
Like lady Oprah Winfred once said “gossips reflects the insecurity of those who initiate it”
It appears some people can’t discuss issues plainly without bringing a 3rd person’s issues into their conversation. It’s not just fun but gossip is dangerous and destructive
If you’ve nothing sensible to talk about your friend, then the best and honorable thing to do, is to shut up. Don’t try to impress anybody by saying things you can’t say in the presence of your friend unless you do so behind him or her.
Consider how far you have come in your friendship and don’t allow gossip to destroy your friendship with him or her. If there’s anything to avoid in your life, gossip should be one of them.
3. GOSSIP CREATES ENEMIES AMONG FRIENDS
Unknown writer wrote “I can’t stop the rumors from starting and I really can’t change people’s mind who believe them, all I can do is sit back and laugh at these low life people who have nothing better to do than to gossip about me”.
If you consider yourself to be worthy of some sort in all aspect of life, you will have no time to gossip about other people’s personal issues that come to your attention.
Research has shown that most issues people gossip about are false and based on mere hearsay.
What do you think your friend will think about you if he or she realizes that you are the one leading the gossip about him or her? No regret or apology will write the wrong. Gossip is just like wildfire -it can travel to places you can’t imagine it will reach. Whatever negative thing you say about somebody today-will be extremely difficult if not impossible to retrieve it.
Handle the issue of your friend with care. Invite him or her to find out the truth or otherwise what you’ve heard about your friend and don’t join the rumor mill to destroy your friendship. Eliminate the dangers of gossip in your life all together.
4. GOSSIP BRING ABOUT SHAME
Do you have a sense of shame when you hear that you are the subject under discussion without your knowledge? How do you feel? If you feel bad, then, do what would not allow you to be brought under public ridicule as a result of your inability to keep quiet about what you don’t know anything about?
Gossip is said to be a plaque that consumes weak and gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality. A whole village was set a blade because somebody alleged that the chief daughter was killed when in the actual fact the chief daughter was hiding in the boyfriend’s room.
An unemployed man who came to me for an advice sometime ago, intimated to me that “when I heard that my wife was gossiping about my unemployment with the friends, the love I have for her diminished. That’s how far people can take the issue of gossip,
It’s true we can’t control what people would say at any given time but we can chose to ignore what they say or participate in it. Most people may choose the later by joining in the gossip to malign their coworkers, church members etc. Little minds we are told discuss people but great minds discuss ideas.
If you should sit down quietly to examine yourself and what you hope to achieve in your life time, you would be amazed the number of things on your waiting list you want to accomplish. Join great minds who have achieved something that you are working to achieve. Use your time profitably and shun all appearances of gossips
Decide not to get involve with people’s private life issues-so that you don’t bring shame upon yourself. Get rid of your friends who will create the avenue for you to participate in gossip. Your personal integrity will be at stake when you compromise with people who are “backward looking”
5. GOSSIP BELITTLE YOUR INTELLIGENCE
There’s a common saying “show me your friends and I will tell you your character”. It’s surprising to note that most people who talk about everything ended up becoming gossips. Because they made up their minds to always have something to say in order to make themselves relevant in the group of low thinking people like themselves.
I was at a bank this afternoon to make a deposit and at the same thinking about how to finish my post that you are reading this morning, because I post every three days. In the banking hall came two men who also came to take money I supposed. They started talking about the attitude of the tellers, how politicians are getting better and making the ordinary people poorer and poorer, how everything in the country is going bad etc. In fact, they seemed to be bitter about everything including themselves.
While the rich and the high income earners are thinking about how to increase their wealth, the poor and the have not think somebody is responsible for their miserable state. The fact still remains nobody will create the kind of life you want for you. You are the master planner and the chief driver of your life. Instead of gossiping about things you can’t do anything about, use that time to think about what you can do to improve your life and that of your family.
You definitely have something to give your generation. Don’t be little yourself by gossiping about everybody expect yourself. Take note of the fact that gossip is dangerous and evil and you should not make it part of your lifestyle.
You are welcome to the month of March. Be positive to attract the good things the months brings.