JUDGMENT IN A RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE A FOOTBALL MATCH
6 REASONS TO SUSPEND FREQUENT JUDGMENT OF YOUR PARTNER
Even though judgment is merely an opinion we express about issues we strongly feel something about-the outcome of any judgment can be positive or negative depending upon who is giving the judgment and the parties receiving it.
Most often the receiver of the judgment may interpret the judgment in his or her own way of understanding the issue at stake and the possible reaction to the judgment.
So the question is- is judgment of our partners in a relationship bad or not? I would say it depends without giving any definite opinion. But come to think of it, why, do you always want to find something negative to make judgment about your partner. I’ve come to acknowledge that the good things people do in their relationship go unappreciated and for that matter go unnoticed but we are quick to response to the negative weaknesses of our partners
1. JUDGMENT CREATES FREQUENT QUARREL
The bible says in Matthew 15:1”Do not judge or you too will be judge, for the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Anytime we make judgment of our partners, we introduce an element of guilt feeling in the heart of our partner who is at the receiving end.
There’s no relationship under this beautiful universe without any wrongs doing on the part of those who are involved. But the reality is that when the offences come, the way and manner we handle it bring about the quarrel or otherwise.
Since we are to remain the best of friends in our relationship and if that is the case, we are to reduce the frequency at which we pass judgment on our partners. Don’t forget, it hurts to be judged by someone you love so much dearly.
Who doesn’t want to be happy in his or her relationship when everything he or she does is not seen with a “negative eyes”? Of course you won’t be happy.
Frequent judgment of your partner will take the beauty in the relationship and render it to disunity and disharmony between the lovers. If you are in the habit of subjecting everything he or she does as a judge, you will always have him or her defending his or her action. The result of this type of relationship will lead to frequent quarrel.
See your partner as yourself and consider his or her feelings as your feelings. If you do so, you will have no time to criticize him or her because anytime you judge him or her you are judging yourself and no one wants to judge herself or himself.
2. MAKING JUDGMENT OF YOUR PARTNER PUT YOU IN A POSITION OF A JUDGE.
Everybody knows the work of a judge in the courtroom. So, anytime you make judgment of your beloved partner, you are more or less sitting in the judgment seat.
Our attitude towards a judge are very often in the negative and so is the impression your partner may have about you if you continue to play the role of a judge by expressing opinion on every single issue.
Do you know you can correct things you don’t like about your partner without judging him or her? In the case of my wife, one of her weaknesses is her inability to organize stuff properly at home. She is very hardworking and can work under pressure to achieve any goals she sets for herself but slow in rearranging stuff she has scatted in the course of doing her work.
Instead of complaining as I used to do, I quickly gather the stuff and arrange them because I have realized that this thing still remained one of her biggest weaknesses since I married her. The question still remains- are couples playing the complementary roles expected of them in a relationship? I may be wrong in my opinion of this issue but it appears to me as if many people still think as individual in their relationship without looking at what they can do to assist their partners.
Continue to do what she or he has not been doing right and with time he or she would change with time without a word.
3. JUDGMENT CREATES TENSION IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Nobody goes into a relationship at least with his or her enemy unless there’s ulterior motive of doing so.
We’ve to create our relationship everyday if we want to enjoy our relationship and live happily with our spouses. Don’t always develop the appetite to find fault about everything he or she does. No one can live as an island in the relationship and so far as we do things together, offences would come, we shall hurt each other and anger and tension would rise- but these things are normal part of any relationship and should not be used as basis for launching attack of judging your partner.
Anytime I have issue with my wife, my output of work is drastically affected and always not up to peak because of the psychological effect it has on me.
Do anything you can to avoid any negative opinion that may appear judgmental on your partner.
4. JUDGMENT CREATES WINNER AND LOSER
Don’t allow your relationship to appear as a football match where there’s always a winner and a loser.
The funny thing about judgment is that people who pass judgment on their partners do so under emotionally unbalance state of mind as a result of anger. And when people become angry they are unable to make fair judgment, hence their partner at the receiving end of the judgment, may appear as a loser.
No one becomes happy if he or she is made to feel as if he or she is the cause of everything that goes wrong in the relationship.
To avoid judgment in your relationship try to look for positive things he or she does and appreciate them instead of dwelling on his or her weaknesses.
5. JUDGMENT DESTROY FRIENDSHIP IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
In every relationship, partners must first be friends before graduating into serious relationship. No friendship can stand the taste of time when we continue verbal attack on each other.
Friends are supposed to cover the mistakes of each other in order to aid the relationship into the future. Do you need to keep quiet and shut your mouth if your partners is not doing what is expected of him or her? No for good reason. But give your opinion in love without destroying the beautiful relationship you’ve nurtured over the years with your partner.
Air your view cautiously and respectfully by employing the greatest love attributes espoused in the Bible-1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6. JUDGMENT CREATES APARTHY IN THE RELATIONSHIP
If you continue to criticize and judge your spouse fairly or unfairly, a time will come where he or she would not take you serious anymore-take you for granted.
Too much of everything we are told is bad if not very bad, so if you continue your judgment on your partner, she or he will be tired of your negative attitude which can lead to apathy
Instead, delay judgment and discuss what you don’t like about your partner freely without becoming offensive in the first place. Don’t continue to repeat over and over again your partners’ mistake. Ask yourself whether all that you do is right in the relationship with your partner.
If both of you continue to do same, your home would not be able to contain you-why is that so? Because you’ve created a hostile environment in the home instead of happiness. Learn to accommodate some amount of mistakes if you want to be happy with your spouse.
Take a look at these 6 reasons to suspend judgment of your partner because anytime you judge your partner you are judging yourself.
Have a fruitful week and stay blessed!