OPEN UP YOURSELF TO BE LOVED
Many people hold the strong view that February is the month of love and it is obvious to see of evidence of it through the display of flyers of companies, shopping malls, commercial ads welcoming Valentine. Even though love is in the air so to speak, some people can’t see it because their love speedometer stop working. Use the month of February to revive the love in your relationship.
READ THE FIVE REASONS WHY YOU NEED TO REKINDLE LOVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1. REKINDLE THE LOVE IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Do you still have that strong feeling and liking you have towards her the first time you met her? Does she bring you that pleasure and joy any time you are around her or him? Do you still have that intense sexual attraction for him or her?
If you can answer yes to any of the questions above truthfully, then congratulations. Continue to love your spouse as if you are meeting each other for the first time.
Your partner wants to know you still love him or her just like he or she loves you. Continue to love her and make her feel excited and happy every day that she finds you. Show her that you love her and her alone. Tell him you wouldn’t substitute him for anyone else.
Your partner just wants a practical demonstration of your love. Let her or him feel your love all around her or him. In his or her absence, demonstrate that you missed her or him and wish him or her back sooner than later.
As the relationship travels, you are likely to meet challenges on your way, but let the love you profess for each other hold you together. Financial difficulties accounts for one of the things that can take away the love in the relationship.
Deal with your financial issues promptly and restore your relationship quickly. I know some women who packed out of the house because the man was unable to provide for the upkeep of the home.
The fact of the matter is that money is the blood that runs the home just as financial liquidity makes a company strong and viable. There are many ways of making money these days, explore the one that is best for you.
In case of layoff, see alternative job elsewhere no matter how meager the wages might be just to keep the family going until you secure a meaningful employment. You should also try setting up your own side business along the line since your personal work is the guarantee for financial freedom.
Women, especially want practical demonstration of their partner’s continuous love towards them. They actually feel proud when their spouse exhibit love publicly for all to see. Do you know how your wife feels if you show to others around her that you really love her and her alone?
Love is like light and whenever there is light, it shines for all to see. Unfortunately most men find it difficult to show how much they love their spouses. This category of men may genuinely love their wives in their hearts but seriously find it difficult to exhibit it.
Walking with the woman holding the hands, touching the woman gently while walking, whispering into the ear I love you, and sitting beside her to tell her what happens at work is important to your spouse. Try to find out about her fears and worry and assure her of your availability and support. You should be fond of her and make it known to her every single day.
2. ASSURE YOUR PARTNER OF SECURITY
You can believe it or not, every woman has some sort of insecurity in her relationship. This insecurity may stem from being disappointed along the way, being separated, being divorced along the way, losing her spouse through death accidentally etc.
It’s against this background that men must keep using the magical word ‘I love you’ every day. That four letter word reassures her of your reliability at all times. Most Men take it for granted that once they stay together every other day with their wives, there is no need to repeat the word I Love.
As a man, I know it is not easy to say it and demonstrate it every day, but we must learn to practice it; because women want to hear I love you every day. Your wife is not tired of hearing it each day so do not be tired of telling her.
Your attitude towards each other and how you respond to each other’s call and other little, little things you do to each other show how much you love each other. There is a common saying that If you love someone, show it by what you do to them. You may not be a multimillionaire to take her to Four Seasons Resort in Nevis or hire a private yacht for you to cruise on the ocean but show what you can do to make each other happy by demonstrating it through your daily habits
3. DON’T USE SEX TO MANIPULATE YOUR PARTNER
‘Sex’ even though perceived by most people to be men ‘thing’ is equally enjoyed by women. The sexual act is to be enjoyed in the relationship without any manipulation from any of the party. Some women tend to hold the view that when it comes to sex, they are in control.
The control of some women by denying their partners sexual intimacy, has resulted into many diverse problems- where dissatisfied men who are sexually starved look elsewhere for sexual satisfaction and others abandoned the home altogether.
Sex should not be the ground to make demand of your partner when he requested for it. Give it naturally and it will be reciprocated through other means to you by your partner. The catch is to make the demand after the sexual act with your partner and go about your request tactfully and diplomatically.
From the Christian perspective of the bible the two people in marriage are become one. In the book of 1 Corinthians 7: 3-5, mention was made of the fact that none of the couple has right over his or her body.
The man has no conjugal right over his body so is the woman. Each of you has no excuse to denying the other of sex. The only caveat is when both of you decide to wait upon the Lord in prayers. Sex is to be enjoyed no matter what differences exist between you and your partner.
Do not under any circumstances give an excuse for not allowing your husband or partner to have sex with you. Sex plays a key role in the union and brings you and your partner (husband and wife) together emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Continue to dress neatly and romantically to attract him to you at all times. Men are moved by sight and get aroused by what they see with their eyes. Denying him sexual satisfaction will force him to get the kind of sexual desires he wants from somewhere else as I indicated earlier.
It doesn’t matter his social standing (whether a priest, bishop, senator, chief executive etc.)
Don’t take it for granted that you are married and he can’t cheat on you. I can’t tell you the number of times to have sex in the week.
You should know your work schedule, health condition and age to determine the number of times to have sex in the week. It could be one, two, three, four or five times in a week.
As you grow in the marriage, the frequency of sexual activity will reduce naturally. But don’t use sex as a weapon to maltreat your partner. If that continues to happen in the relationship, he or she might begin to suspect you of deriving the sexual satisfaction from elsewhere. Remember both sexes love sex and want it in non-controlling manner.
Sex boosts a man’s ego and he would do anything to have it. Studies have shown also that the female hormone, estrogen, release during sexual intercourse makes their skin soft and shiny, besides making them look 10 years younger than their actual ages.
Arouse your partner before the act and learn to avoid anything that will trigger negative emotions. A partner who is bitter and carrying negative emotions will find it difficult to engage in any free sexual activity with the partner. Deal with any negative emotions and bitterness before the act.
4. ASSURE YOUR PARTNER OF YOUR FAITHFULNESS
The issue of faithfulness is so dear to everybody in any committed relationship. Statistics about marital unfaithfulness is becoming a big issue across the globe. Whatever the case may be or the reasons people give for these unfortunate lifestyles, there are indications that the trend is on the increase worldwide.
Build trust along the way. Fulfil your part by remaining loyal and faithful to your partner. Don’t retaliate by becoming unfaithful. You are not in competition with each other and cannot justify equality for wrong doing.
Unfaithfulness in relationship has been one of the causes of divorce and separation in most relationship. Don’t allow the temptation to cheat on your partner destroy the relationship you have built over the years. Avoid contact with persons tempting you to cheat on your partner. Remember you are not only faithful to him but God Almighty as well
5. DON’T BE DIFFICULT TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Things may be difficult sometimes in your relationship. But hold on a little while without becoming too difficult to understand your partner. This is not the time for blame game and it’s neither the time to say discouraging things to your partner
You can’t always get whatever you want in a relationship. Learn to appreciate the difficulty and relax for things to normalize. Men need women who will understand them in times like this. This is the time for you to stand by him. Give him a shoulder for him to cry on. He needs your support in times like this. Men also need to give attention to their spouses to understand them during the transition period especially when the relationship is new.
Sometimes, it is really difficult for partners in a relationship to understand each other and move along peacefully. Study your partner to know him or her inside out so as to avoid the frequent quarrel in the relationship. Read John Gray’s book (1992)- Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
This is a book written by American author and relationship counsellor, you might get some inspiration to keep your relationship refresh.
Please let go of the ego and focus on your partner rather than yourself.
These five key elements can make or unmake your relationship. Reflect on this