NEVER STOP TELLING YOUR PARTNER I LOVE YOU EVERYDAY
To some of us we can’t remember the last time we heard the word I love you from our partners. Most people cease using that four letter word shortly after honey moon. Others replace the use of the words “I love you” to regular hugging. The rest do regular pecking before going to work and from work.
Hugging and pecking are important elements in love relationship but they can’t in anyway replace the word “I love you” I remember a woman asked me sometime a go “Why do men find it so difficult to continue to say I love you soon after marriage” I thought I could give an answer readily but I couldn’t because I find it difficult to do so myself on a regular basis.
My research shows that the use of the word ‘I love you” seems simple but it appears the hardest thing to say across all segments of the population irrespective of education, financial status, geographical location and gender. As a social construct, the male partner is expected to say I love you the more because men are expected to show and demonstrate more love to their partners than the female partner. Even the bible confirms this social construct.
In Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” … He who loves his wife loves himself.
Psychology for today gave some interesting reasons why it’s difficult to say I love you and it‘s worth sharing with you. However you can add your own reasons and let us know about them
Fear of Commitment
- Some people put a lot of power into the three words, “I love you” and are not ready to promise something they are afraid to give. The more weight that is put on these words by the partner of someone who is “commitment phobic,” the less likely it is you will hear them tripping out of the commitment-phobe’s mouth. Love may be present, but fear of commitment keeps it from being voiced. Why do people fear commitment? By making a choice, any other options are then excluded, and that lack of options can be fear-inducing and too limiting, regardless of the love one might actually feel for their partner.
Fear of Appearing Needy
- Admitting love, for some, is to admit that they need another person in their life. It is almost like giving away power if they admit that they are vulnerable to another.
Fear of Rejection
- Of course, one of the strongest fears that keeps us from saying what is in our heart is the fear of our feelings not being returned. Love is like a seesaw: It’s easy to begin with one person caring more for another at the start, but a balance of give-and-take is what gives the relationship momentum.
Fear of the Potential of Being Hurt
- Being in love with a person is almost like having an open space in your heart. The saying about “having a soft spot” for someone is wonderfully descriptive: When we let ourselves open up to another, we take away a layer of self-protection, and that allows us to be more easily hurt. Having your ego bruised by someone you have that “soft spot” for can be much more painful than when it’s someone less special to you.
Missing Role Models?
- May be you haven’t seen tenderness expressed often between partners, families, and close friends. May be you haven’t been told often enough that you were loved. Or maybe you grew up in a family where the “currency of love” was actions, not just those three words
BELOW ARE THE 5 REASONS WHY YOU MUST CONTINUE TO SAY I LOVE YOU TO YOUR PARTNER
- REASSURANCE OF YOUR COMMITMENT
We are told that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh (Luke 6:45 NKV). Here is a profound thought. Whenever you ponder in your heart and pronounce this affirmative words to your partner, it demonstrates how committed you are to your partner and the positive thought you have for him or her.
Therefore when you pronounce these affirmative words (I love you), you will practice what you say to your partner because human beings are habit of what they do. I must admit as a husband, I don’t say it quiet often and I know there are many men out there who are having difficulty saying these “soft words”
Whatever that’s holding us back we should gather the courage and say it every. You should say it with the purest sincerity of heart. Women especially are not fade up from hearing the word I love you. Once in a while women must also tell their partners I love you. Those who are saying it in their relationship, continue to do it and those who are not doing it like me, let have a change of mind and demonstrate our love to our partners through the use of this powerful words “I love you”
2. DEMONSTRATE YOUR CONTINOUS AFFECTION
The feelings of love and care you demonstrate to your partner shows how you care for your partner on continuous basis. Have you come across the phrase “if you love me show it for me to see” Anytime you use the word I love you, you’ve no idea how that means to your better half.
There’s no way your partner will know how you are feeling towards him or her expect you exhibit it through what you do and say. Words are powerful and you should make your partner to know your deep affection towards her or him at all material moment.
If you use all the elements of love such as kissing, hugging, and pecking and the magic word “I love you”, it would draw your partner to you again and again and this will translate into deep bonding and mutual affection towards you and your partner.
3. DEMONSTRATE NO ONE ELSE IS ENGAGING YOUR ATTENTION
Nothing happens in vacuum if it’s not triggered by action. We’ve heard story where people who were cheating on their partners call their cheating partners name during love making instead of their real partners name. Like I indicated earlier out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speak.
What we focus on daily expand and manifest in reality. Your continuous assurance to your partner that he or she means the world to you by the way you assure him or she of your love will make your partner stable psychologically with you. We are told that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speak. This is a profound thought. Whatever you ponder in your heart should come out fulfilling to your partner, and these words should lift them up. Therefore when you pronounce negative words, you will practice negative works.
What we cherish and love, we give all our undivided attention to, so is love relationship. A man sent the wife “I love you” through a text message after 10 years of marriage without such words. The response of the woman was sad. “Hey Mr. Man, don’t bring yourself. If you got another woman you are intending the message for do that” Why this response you probably ask, because, the man has never used the word I love you before after their 10 years of marriage. So the woman was thinking the man want to play a fast one on her (deceive her).
Internalize the word in your language and let it be part of the vocabulary you use at home so that when we use it our partners wouldn’t be surprise like the woman discussed above.
4. IT ENHANCES INTIMACY
What makes you develop intimacy for your partner? I know everybody has reasons why he or she has strong intimacy for his or her partner. May be your reason could be the way your partner treats you or care for you. Another person may be looking at the great kissing accompanied by hot sex. Some may be looking at the beauty or the handsomeness of their partners to get intimate with them.
Don’t underestimate the use of the words I love you. Don’t get tired to use the words “I love you” very often this year and transform your relationship with your better half. Every little things you do in your relationship would go a long way to make it succeed or fail. Choose the former and make your relationship a unique example to others.
5. IT DEEPS THE BOND IN THE RELATIONSHIP
No one tells his or her enemy I love you. But we say these words to people we care passionately about. We all want some form of confirmation that people care about us. It gives us some sense of pride and this builds our self-esteem. We feel proud and develop positive attitude towards the future and that of our partners.
Implement all the elements needed in building a great relationship, bonding take time to build but you can start now if you are failing to bond effectively with your partner. Let me repeat; don’t let these three letter words( I love you) depart from your mouth, Meditate on it day and night, so that you can have a great and successful relationship
Not too long ago, we have been able to discuss the importance to continue to say I love you in your relationship no matter how young or old the relationship is. Continue to use this powerful phrase every day in your relationship and change the way your partner relate with you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR. MAY GOD JEHOVAH BLESS YOU WITH ALL YOUR HEART DESIRES THIS YEAR
STAY BLESSED AND PROTECTED