Good Parental Guidance “train up” a child to pick up the right behaviors
Your child is given to you by the creator for you to bring them up holistically in all aspect of life without leaving any aspect of their upbringing to society. You should be in a position to instill all the right behaviors, attitudes and character into the child during their formative years before they pick up their own behaviors.
If you fail to do what’s expected of you the society would do just that; where they would come to the house with all kinds of behaviors. Don’t be surprised, because you failed to do the right thing at the right time when it’s very important to do so.
Below are the 5 reasons why parents must guide their kids into adulthood.
1. TO INSTILL POSITIVE VALUES INTO YOUR KIDS
You’ve no excuse not to make sure your children grow up with the right moral virtues that make them live and fit into society without any future challenges. A lot of parents are doing well taking care of their kids by providing all the basic necessities of live for their children but are failing miserably when it comes to moral upbringing of their kids.
The fact that we are living in the modern world doesn’t negate instilling what is right behavior into your child. Your child is giving to you to teach and mold so as to grow up and make you proud in the future. Sometimes,I wonder whether we’ve parents at home who are teaching their kids basic ethics of living before sending them to school.
The reason being that kids come school with all manner of weird and bad behaviors in the name of “freedom”Don’t forget you child success in life will be linked to you so is his or her failure in life. Be bold and courageous as a parent to teach your child to do the right thing and let it be part of his or her lifestyle. It’s not the duty of the society to train your child for you.
2. ASSIST YOUR KIDS TO MAKE THE RIGHT CAREER CHOICE
Making choices can be very difficult for kids because of the fact that today’s kids get exposed to so many information; which can be confusing and frustrating to kids. As a responsible parent (father or mother) it is your primary responsibility to guide him or her to make the right career choices.
Choices such as choosing the correct courses to pursue can be confusing because, at this stage, kids tend to listen to their peers even more than their teachers. Career guidance and counselling of the schools would complete what you’ve observed about your child. Pay particular attention to your child and observe what he or she’s interested in doing on his or her own at home. Look at her school work and see where she or he has an emerging talents or interest.
Don’t leave everything for the school to do. You should know that your child spends 8 hours in the school and spend the rest of the hours with you at home. The fact of the matter is that you are not imposing on your child what career to choose but only guiding him or she based on the availability of the child’s data at your disposal. The school has no right to force your child to choose a career. Your child career choice should be a team work between you the parents and the school.
3. GUIDE YOUR CHILD TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT LIFE PARTNER
Unless you are a bad father or mother or experienced negative upbringing you should be in a position to guide your child when it comes to making a critical decision like choosing a life partner. Marriage is not about how you feel about the person, because that feeling will ‘die’ when you finally settle down with your partner in marriage.
As a responsible father or mother you should be able to help your child with the following guidelines in choosing and selecting a life partner:
- Does he or she really loves you for who you are?
- Is he or she ready to live with you?
- Is he or she emotionally matured in handling conflicts between the two of you?
- Does he or she respect you? You can’t marry somebody who doesn’t respect you.
- Can he or she be faithful to you?
- Does he or she forgive and close the chapter without making reference every now and then about the same issue?
- Does he or she care about you?
- Does he or she care about your friends?
- Is he or she ready to respect your mother or father(in-laws)
- Is he or she hardworking to support you take care of the family?
- What’s her attitude towards money? Is his or her money mindset positive or negative?
- Is he or she willing to communicate issues freely
- Is he or her hot tempered?
- What is he or her understanding of sex in marriage
- Is he or she ready for a child in the marriage?
- Can he or she be committed to you during difficult times?
- Does he or she really understand marriage?
- Is he or she willing to sacrifice for the marriage? Etc.
These are a few of the hard questions you must ask your child to guide him or her to make the right choice when it comes to selecting a life partner. Many parents don’t guide their kids and assumed that they would learn in the marriage. I bet to defy. Marriage can’t teach everything, there is always known to the unknown. You child must have some knowledge about marriage and what to expect in the marriage so that when difficult times come he or she can handle them. You should complement the pre-marital counselling to prepare your kid adequately before going into marriage.
3. ENCOURAGE YOUR KIDS
One beautiful thing about parental guidance is that your kids listen to you more than anybody if you developed a good relationship with them. Sometimes, your kids can be discouraged with regards to school work and choices in life. You should encourage your kids when he or she is discouraged in order to help him or her not to lose sight of his or her goal in life.
The reality is that many kids lack the encouragement to press on in life and this is the time you must get closer to your kids and encourage him or her to think big. You must ignite an ambition in your child to develop a positive life in the future. Give them encouragement everyday through the following affirmation:
- You are great!
- You can make it!
- You can achieve anything you set your mind to achieve!
- Nothing is impossible in life for you!
- Don’t settle on anything less that you can’t be proud of!
- The family is proud of your success!
- You are unique! Etc.
Create positive affirmations that your child can internalized in his or her every life to make him or her developed a positive mind at times.
4. GUIDE YOUR KIDS AGAINST BAD COMPANIES
You have no idea how your kids listen to the advice of their peers because you’ve not made them your friends.It’s easy for your kids to pick bad behaviors from their friends if you left them unguided. If you fail to monitor and guide your child, he is likely to pick so many bad behaviors from their peers.
Let take a look at some of the bad behaviors that your kid can pick from the friends.
- Learning to smoke
- Learning to drink alcohol or other hard liquor
- Learning to engage in early sex
- Picking rude behavior
- Thievery or stealing
- Picking the wrong sexual lifestyle
- Picking the wrong belief which is different from you the parent etc.
Don’t leave these things for your kids to choose from their friends. Be responsible and live up to your parental responsibilities by guiding them to select the right behavior.
5. CORRECTING NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS OF YOUR KIDS
Don’t scream about the negative behaviors of your kids when it’s within your power to check and control such behaviors through proper parental guidance. Don’t assumed that all kids are picking bad behaviors from the society. That could be a figment in your own imagination.
There are parents who are up to the task to correct such behaviors as soon as they surface and you should also play your role as a responsible mother or father.
Let examine some of the behaviors that must be corrected as soon as possible without sweeping them under the carpet as most parents are doing these days.
- Insulting behavior towards elders
- Disrespectful behavior towards adults
- Rude behavior towards siblings and others including parents themselves
- Bullying behavior towards siblings and others
- Lazy or poor attitude to work at home and school
- Pilfering behavior at home
When you foster good parenting relationship between you and your kids you should be quick to observe these negative behaviors as soon as possible and find solutions to them without ignoring them as some parents do are doing because of the so called love for the kids. I heard a parent who said, children should be allowed to practice all kinds of behaviors and when they grow they would be in a good position to pick the right behaviors. I told her in the face that I disagree and a big no to that assertion.
If you can’t correct bad behaviors at your child’s formative years, forget about correcting them when they grow up.
We’ve been able to discuss 5 reasons why you as a parent should guide your kids so as to raise him or her to become a responsible adults in the future. If you fail to do these corrections at the formative age you would be unable to do so when they reach adulthood, so start early and start now.
Look out for my next post on Wednesday. Please leave you comment. I read them and I response to every comment.