What is anxiety? Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome? Everybody at one point or the other may have anxiety about his life, marriage, work, family, new employment, moving to a new location, meeting new people, entering into new relationship, the thought about life after death and so on.
Anxiety is a normal part of human which can trigger positive and negative emotions. In an anxiety-related disorder, your fear or worry does not go away and can get worse over time. It can influence your life to the extent that it can interfere with daily activities like school, work or your marriage relationships. Fear, stress, and anxiety are “normal feelings and experiences” but they are completely different than suffering from any of the seven diagnosable disorders plus substance-induced anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and trauma- or stressor-related disorders (www. anxietydisorder.org)
- FINANCIAL INSECURITY
Financial security refers to the peace of mind you feel when you aren’t worried about your income being enough to cover your expenses. It also means that you have enough money saved to cover emergencies and your future financial goals.
Money plays a very significant role in our lives and like any relationship, lack of money in the marriage can cause couple to develop anxiety about their future and the future of their kids if the couple have kids.
Since the future is unpredictable, couples without any stable financial plans are likely to be anxious, worry and become apprehensive of what the future may bring. Mortgage payment, kids school fees, daily consumables, emergency fund, hospital insurance renew etc. always make couples to become fearful and nervous.
When we are young, we may not think too much about financial security. However, this is actually the time when we need to know why it matters. But unfortunately we didn’t think through seriously at the time we are growing, probably, we didn’t have enough some twenty year ago as we have today.
As we grow into adulthood with huge responsibility to honor, we are now faced with the reality on the ground and hence the anxiety that many couples face in their marriage.
According to Yahoo finance five things make people to think about their financial security: freedom, debt, get rich, emergencies and retirement. You can read the entire report at https://in.finance.yahoo.com/news/five-reasons-why-financial-security-matters)
- BROKEN TRUST
Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. It is what allows you to feel safe so that you can be vulnerable enough to emotionally connect with another person. When relationships first begin, trust is often given early as part of an unspoken code of honor.
People who go through painful relationship; where they have been disappointed by someone they really believe and can trust but later let down (disappointed) will find it difficult to trust any other person he or she comes into contact with. When trust is broken, there will be people who might nurse this for a very long time to come.
When this is extended into new relationship such as marriage, anxiety may develop and if this continues for a long time, it would lead to anxiety disorders in the marriage and it will affect the relationship with a husband and a wife.
- NEGATIVE PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
When people are treated poorly and go through bad experience with their partners in their previous relationship, this negative experience may affect some people so much so that they may have doubt developing positive attitude in their new found marriage relationship.
Whether you believe it or not, human as we are, we tend to dwell and remember things that negatively affect us than our positive experience. I heard a woman who was going into her second marriage say” I went into this second marriage with half of my heart, I wouldn’t allow my heart to be bruised the second time”.
This woman went into the relationship with 50% negative attitude with regards to the failure of the relationship. She has prepared for the inevitable to happen. We attract to our self what we give our full attention and thought to every day. You are who you are now by virtue of your dominant thought.
- FREIGHTENING DIVORCE STATISTICS WORLD
We live in an age where divorce is filed every 5 minutes in the US and many other part of the world. A lot of people are becoming anxious in their marriage because of what they hear, see and witnessed happening to their friends, relatives and people around them.
The frightening divorce statistics may ring a bell to those who are sensitive and concern about the fact that something may go wrong in their marriage. This uneasiness and fearfulness could take the joy people should have in their marriage.
Don’t be too worried about the statistics but rather work in your marriage and everything you would be fine.
- JOB INSECURITY
Most economies around the world are not in good shapes to support living wage of their citizens. This volatility results into layoffs and redeployment since most economies can’t create jobs leading to high unemployment in most countries around the world.
Certainly, a woman whose husband is laid off and has not secure any new job in the last six months would have course to be worried about the future of the marriage. Anxiety could set in the marriage because of the inability of couples to cater for their families.
We have identified 5 likely causes of anxiety in our marriage relationships. In my next post I would identify 6 ways of dealing with anxiety in marriage relationships. Make a date with me. Please I want to hear from you and pin to read later if you choose to do so.