What’s attention? To pay attention is to carefully listen to or watch something that’s happening or to be careful about what you are doing.

Anytime, attention is no more between a husband and the wife, you don’t need be a soothsayer to know that all is not well between the couple.  Women can ignore their spouse sexually, psychologically, emotionally and physically if attention is no more.

But we all need attention to keep us happy in the relationship and assure ourselves that we matter in the relationship and not taken for granted. Let’s look at the 5 things you can do to get your wife attention back on track in your relationship with her.


Women by nature want their husbands to pamper them once in a while. They want their men to demonstrate love and affection at all time. They want you to prove to them that you truly care about everything around them.  You can’t her attention if you ignore things that matter to her especially her physical needs.

How quick are you in responding to the needs of your partner? Even if you do, is it timely and serve the immediate purpose. A caring husband does not postpone anything that needs to be done urgently. They provide solution before their partners make demand for such things. They are able to read their partners’ need well in advance

If their partner is sick, it is assumed that they are equally sick. Early medical attention is sought to address the problem.  They never get rest until their partner becomes well and back to do the normal things she does.

  • You should always be available to offer any assistance she needs.
  • Be ready to make the little sacrifices for your partner, provided that will make her happy.
  • Find out from her and begin to do things that she likes and avoid those that make her unhappy and upset.
  • Find out from the best friend what she has been complaining about to her about you. Do you know her best friend know more about you than you think?


It appears a lot of us men are quick to jump into conclusion whenever our wives want to discuss real issues that are troubling them. I find myself in situation like that before until my wife sat me down one day.

She asked me “do you really understand me”? I thought I did after over six years in our marriage. She discussed something that was weighing her down but I talked about it briefly and brushed it aside. She was expecting me to show concern and get to the bottom of the issues with her.

I was embarrassed that I did very little to help her out of the issue. I know many of us men are behaving in like manner. May be you also thought you understood your spouse after several years of marriage but think again. You have not known all about her yet. We need to gauge the mood of our partners when they are in any kind of troubles. Most often, she might not tell you but want you to know she has a problem.


You should learn how to make your wife happy at all times. You should learn to create humor in the home to make it lovely. Too many of us (men) are too serious in the me; making it appears as if we are living in the stone age without anything new to add to the relationship. When you do the same thing over and over with your spouse, she will lose interest, because there’s nothing exciting about you for her to discover

 Let’s free ourselves a little bit for our wives to play with us without any ‘fear’. Yes some women are afraid to approach their husbands and create any romantic jokes. Most men are really too serious and conservative without any form of jokes to say the least.

 Some little jokes and teasing of your partner will reduce tension in the home. The fun I am talking about here is the primary type of entertainment. It should be ‘home-grown’ by you. The secondary source of entertainment is where you take her out for a movie or any holiday resort to have just fun. This source is not bad but it can create artificial situation sometimes. Your woman can go to the cinema and pretends to be enjoying the scene but in the real sense the mind is on something else. Let her chose the place she want to go without you deciding for her.

Do you know bad guys make fun of women and entertain women than the so called serious guys? Most decent women fall for these guys because of the power they possess to entertain women by teasing and making fun around them.

The women see them as fun to be with. You can learn something good from these ‘bad’ guys to enrich your relationship.


The book of James admonished us to be people who are ready to listen than speaking.

“Know this my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. The anger of man does not work the righteousness of God”. (James Chap 1: 19-20, RSV)

We are living in an age where everything seems to moving at a speed of light. Our smart phones, robot and other technological advancement is making people not to really pay attention to others.

This made people not to really pay attention and get the full input of what others says to them. Unfortunately we are very quick to pass judgment when we didn’t hear the full fact of what we have heard. The book of James is encouraging us to do more listening than talking. Husbands should be slow in speaking and listen more and more to whatever their wives have to say. Very often we gag them and prevent them from telling us the real problem they want to discuss with us.

Some women are dying emotionally because of the inability of their spouses to hear them out and give them space for them to speak out what is bothering them. Don’t allow your wife to be a slave in her home for her inability to speak out.

I encourage all men to do more listening this time to your wife than talking.

  1. Be Truthful in Your Dealings with Her

No woman is prepared to accommodate any man who tells lies in the morning, polish it in the afternoon and re-enforce it during the evening.

Let’s your partner know what you stand for at any material point in time. She should trust and believe what you tell her without raising any eye brows.

I was reading an article on the internet the last time as to which of the sexes; men or women tell the most lies. The comments appeared to be almost 50:50. Most of the contributors happened to be male, so the contributions seemed to favor men. What is important is that lies destroy the fabrics of any serious relationship and must be avoided at all cost.

Truth, just like fact cannot be compromised on the altar of convenience no matter the situation we find ourselves in. What we do today in the dark my sure come out some day in the light.

When that happens your integrity will be destroyed and your relationship destroyed. If there is anything you want to stand for, stand for the truth and it will protect you throughout your life and draw your partner close to you.

6. Satisfy Her Sexual Needs

There is a common saying in certain part of the world “that satisfy her (your wife) in the night so that early in the morning she will call you darling”.  Whatever the case may be, you must not relegate you conjugal duties to your work.

You need to find time and refresh yourself before going to bed. Don’t given in too much excuse for not being able to have sex with your wife. Sexual needs are one of the fundamental human needs including even animals.

Your wife cannot get sexual satisfaction from anyone else a part from you. If you hide on the altar of tiredness but derive satisfaction with someone who is not your partner, it amounts to committing extra marital affair.

 You should guard against extra marital affairs and devote time for your lawful wife. If you take care of your wife very well, she will maintain her beauty and appear attractive to you all the time.

We have been able to identify 5 things we can do to get the attention of our wives in the marriage union or relationship. Practice the 5 things identified and get her attention back

Until my next post




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