Three days ago, I wrote about causes of men’s infidelity in marriage. A lot of great articles and posts have been written extensively about the issues of marital affair or infidelity (cheating). All these are the same name giving to the word that would not go away so far as human existence on earth is concerned.
But the good news is that anything that has cause and effect may also have solution to address it.
Now let’s look at the 8 ways men can help themselves from engaging in secret sexual affairs outside their marriage
- TRUST YOUR SPOUSE
Trust, a strong belief in the honest, goodness of someone or something or to believe that something is true without a proof. Why is trust important in marriage relationship? Trust is very essential because most couples or people in committed relationship don’t trust themselves enough to trust their partners these days.
If you belief in yourself and your spouse, the thought to engage in affair will ring a bell in your ears; urging you to consider the emotional feelings your partner may go through if the affair is discovered. Do some reflections on yourself and check whether it’s very ideal to go ahead with the thought to engage in that romantic secret sexual affair.
I hear people say, you can’t trust anybody, not even your spouse. Those who hold this view may have their own evidence to support their claims but you should know your spouse on a personal level; to know whether she may have the tendency to engage in affair outside the marriage. You should know your spouse by now and not what people are saying.
Remember the law of karma, what goes round come around. If you cheat on her, your conscious mind may be telling you she might also be engaging in similar secret affair. Trust her and trust yourself that you can remain faithfully to each other.
- BE ROMANTIC AND LOVELY
Romantic, someone who shows strong feelings of love and likes doing things that are connected with love such as buying flowers, present etc.
Take your mind back memory lane when you guys are always in each other’s arms. It appears as relationship ages, romance also begins to age and love soon become nonexistence in marriages. You no longer feel the absence nor the presence of your partner anymore.
One thing I have noticed about some couples during my counseling session with them (couple) is that each person complains of being ignored. Do you do things that would make your partner to feel special and loved so that she can reciprocate love. Watch your romantic life in the marriage. Are you playing your part well?
As a matter of fact, we all want to be loved and given attention. We give back to those who appear nice and lovely towards us. So is marriage. It’s like a computer. Garbage in garbage out (what you put in is what you get out)
Spend time to put your romantic life back and everything would fall in place for you.
- TALK OPENLY ABOUT SEX WITH HER
Many people in conjugal relationship feel reluctant or too shy to talk about sex with their partners openly. This affect both the educated and the uneducated. Many people are learning new ways to discover their sex life and would like to practice what they have found out
Teach her your new sexual discoveries or read what you have learned together to get her to buy into your idea. It beats my imagination why men read romantic literature or watch sexual movies alone without the involvement of their wives but expect their wives to connect on the same emotional level with them.
A lot of women keep their sexual feelings and issues to themselves because men fail to engage them in such discussion to the extent of making sex looks like men thing. Watch romantic and sexual movies with her and gauge her mood about what she likes.
If you talk more sex in your relationship, you would know what’s missing that you must provide to get her always excited about you
- PREPARE HER MIND ABOUT SEX
Don’t be surprised that in this day and age, some men behave as if women are robot that can be operated by remote control. I have spoken to a couple of women who hinted that they don’t achieve orgasm and hate sexual intercourse with their husbands. Sad, indeed!
When it comes to sex, the world of women is totally different from men. You need to get her emotional speedometer running to trigger her psychological and sexual grand activated in anticipation of a great sex. If you want to have sex with her in the evening try and send the signal in the morning before you leave to work. Follow that with short romantic messages: To Night gal, I can’t wait to have you tonight, I want to be deed inside you tonight etc.
If you play your part well your wife would not have any excuse not wanting to have sex with you.
- WATCH ROMANTIC MOVIE TOGETHER
Here again, some men complained they are too tired to watch movies with their spouses. I am not good at watching such movies with Emmanuel but a time came when I have to make it part of my schedule to watch with him. Guess what! He tells me a lot more when he’s watching such romantic movies.
Do you know it’s easy to get your wife to give you sex after such movies? Yes, because she will put herself into the shoes of the lady who’s being pampered in the movie.
Nothing stops you from bringing back romance from your relationship. All women are sexually the same and all men get the same result. So, why not make things better in your marriage?
- APPRECIATE YOUR WIFE AFTER SEX
“Some men hardly appreciate their wives after sex” said one British lady when I am writing this post. She believes that most men really don’t see the importance of appreciating their wives and the benefits it brings to men.
What is appreciation? I’ve tried to find out why ladies demand appreciation from their partners. Appreciation is simply the feeling of being grateful. Why do we need to be grateful to our spouse after sex?
Since sex is an emotional thing, it’s proper to show our appreciation after we have been given the opportunity to share part of their bodies. Don’t take it for grated she is your wife. The secret of appreciation is that women who feel appreciated turn to give more of themselves and sex become a norm rather than exception.
Let’s your wife desire you around her every day to engage your mind deeply than anybody else.
- USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO CONNECT TO YOUR PARTNER
In these days of social media, I wonder why a lot of couples still find it difficult to connect to their spouses.
I’ve realized that even though many couples in marriage relationship use social media, they do so more with other people rather than their spouses.
The social media offers enormous opportunity to communicate with your partner by video, photos, text or other beautiful images. The whatSapp platform offers a good avenue for couples to exchange flowers, funny photos and things of common interest.
Don’t allow other women to engage you through the social media space. It will start as a simple friendship. But wait a minute! Most secret affair starts as “harmless” without any attachment but before you become aware you are seriously involve in either emotional affair or full blown affair.
Use the social media to enhance your relationship with your spouse.
- PRAY TOGETHER
In 1Thessalonians 5:17 the bible admonishes us to pray without ceasing. If you’re a Christian, don’t underestimate the power of prayer in your marriage life. The place of prayer can’t be substituted for anything. For that matter you must devout time to prayer so as to keep you strong and focus in your relationship.
Sometimes, you may be tempted to think you have a strong moral character not to fail but don’t deceive yourself. You can’t be better than men of high social and political repute who fell flat to sexual temptations. What you can’t do, the Holy Spirit would assist you to achieve it.
Don’t relegate prayer to the background and pray only if you’re in trouble or difficulty. With prayer all things are possible including remaining faithful in your marriage.
We’ve been able to look at 8 ways to help men deal with secret s mexual affairs in marriage. They could be other reasons of dealing with the challenge. But, if you adopt these 8 guidelines explained in this post, you could be on your way to having long term successful and happy marriage relationship.