9 REASONS WHY MEN NEED PATIENCE WITH THEIR WIVES TO GUARANTEE LONG LASTING MARRIAGE
The mere word “marriage” sends shivers on the spine of people (young as well as old; because of the huge problems and challenges confronting marriages in our days worldwide.
An 8 year old lad who called me uncle, told me a month ago that “when he grows up he will never marry”. What’s the reason for saying what he said? He told me “dad and mum quarrels every day and don’t seem to agree on anything”. He doesn’t want to suffer that in life.” Hum! You can understand the skepticism young people have about the institution called marriage globally.
But there is a way out if men who go into marriage see it as an institution that must be approached holistically, a lot of marriage problems or marital conflicts could be avoid to a very large extent.
The statistics below indicates that most divorce cases in the United States were filed by women. I put the statistics below to enable you to appreciate the enormity of the challenges who have to deal with in our marriages and why men must be the pacesetters in dealing with all marriage problems.
OVER 115 STUDIES, FACTS AND RATES FOR 2018
- The marriage rate in the United States is currently 6.8 per 1,000 total population.
- The divorce rate in the U.S. is 3.2 per 1,000 population (as of 2014 the latest year of data from the CDC. (with 44 states and D.C. reporting) This is known as the “crude divorce rate”. Although useful for describing changes in divorce rates over time, the crude divorce rate does not provide accurate information on the percentage of first marriages that end in divorce.
- Currently, the divorce rate per 1000 married women is 16.9. Many experts feel that this is a much more accurate measure of true divorce rate than the crude rate.
- The divorce rate per 1000 married women is nearly double that of 1960, but down from the all-time high of 22.6 in the early 1980s.
- Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation.
- Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.
- 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
- 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.
- The United States has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world.
Now 10 REASONS WHY MEN NEED PATIENCE WITH THEIR WIVES
- PATIENCE ENABLES YOU TO UNDERSTAND HER BETTER
Who said women can easily be understood like a computer programming language by men. Most men must school themselves to understand the gender they are dealing with. I would recommend John Gray book: Men are from Mars Women are from Venus published by Harper Collins. The book can be purchased from book stores worldwide or purchased as eBook from Amazon online.
Because we are dealing with a gender who is hardwire to think differently, operate on emotional level most of time, sensitive to things around her, very reactive to see quick solution to issues, risk averse, not easy to forget about hurt or wrong done to her by the partner and someone who thinks over and over before taking any decision. Yes, that’s women. People say they are complex while others are of the view that they are not complex but sensitive about men’s attitudes in relationship.
Hey! Man, you need to be very patience with her if you want to understand her and live with her for a long time to come. You need time to fully understand her. It doesn’t matter the number of years you spend in marriage with her.
- PATIENCE ENABLES YOU TO DEAL WITH MARITAL CONFLICTS
Patience, the ability to wait calmly and continue doing something for a long time without losing interest or becoming anxious, neither angry. Another definition worth taking note of is the ability to accept trouble and other people’s annoying behavior without complaining or angry.
You need very “big patience” with your wife if you want to continue living with her in harmony. If fact, because you think and act differently, you need to go on the tangent of patience. As a matter of fact, I nearly walk out of my marriage until an old lady told me to see the moment with my wife as a period of studies. I am still studying and learning from her. I decided to use patience to stay with her by remaining calm and wait for the right time to explain itself. Be patience and calm my brother.
If you all believe to be right at all time, you can’t stay longer in the marriage and the result is to join the divorce statistics, which I believe you don’t want to be part of you.
- PATIENCE WITH HER ENABLES YOU TO COUNSEL OTHERS
You don’t have any moral right to talk about people’s marital problems if you don’t have the patience to live with your wife with patience and learn to understand her.
Many marriages are begging for answers to their problems and you could be the solution to someone’s marital conflicts or divorce because you have overcome the challenges with experience in your marriage.
- PATIENCE WILL ENABLE YOU TO BECOME EXAMPLE FOR YOUR KIDS
What would have to tell your children when they become adult and marry and are going through marriage problems and the way out seems to be divorce.
You kid won’t take what you tell him or her if there’s nothing to back it up. If marriage is easy as you claim why don’t you stay with his or her mother? Why shouldn’t he or she follow your footstep?
Whatever we do today would follow us tomorrow. It’s not easy to accept everything from your wife but patience would help you to explain issues properly with her devoid of conflicts in your marriage.
Be example to your kids, because they would one day enter into marriage and would fall on you to counsel them.
- PATIENCE WOULD PREVENT DIVORCE IN THE MARRIAGE
A woman told the children one day, “If I were a little bit patient, I wouldn’t divorce your father when I heard he was chasing another woman” Be patience in your marriage and don’t repeat the mistake I made in my life”.
That was admonition by a woman to the children. If you really exercise patience with her, you may not see everything bad about her. Many people who took the decision to file for divorce think they can’t any longer live with their partners, because they can’t understand each other. If they had taken their time not to take hasten decision, they would probably reconsider their decision.
- PATIENCE MAKES THE SOCIETY RESPECT YOU
With divorce frying the roof top each passing day, society accord respect to married couples who have stay into their marriages over the years. Because they become role models to the youth who are finding it difficult to marry.
I know a man who came from Canada to marry but upon learning that the lady he want to marry was coming from a divorced home, he called off the marriage immediately. His reason was that he doesn’t want to marry from a divorced home.
You see what I was talking about in point 5. If the gentleman had gone ahead to marry the said lady and there’s a problem, where will be the first point of call, (their parents)
Don’t take divorce lightly because it has implication for your future
- PATIENCE MAKES YOU BECOME EXPERIENCED IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Real experience is acquired directly when things affect you because you are involved and not reading from books. In deed when we were young we were told to be given the opportunity to play around so that we can get experience from our interaction with the things we play with.
A lot of things take place in the marriage union, some may generate serious heat between you and your spouse and others may affect the two of you so badly that you don’t want to talk to each other. Your ability to resolve all these marriage problems makes you to acquire enormous experience that others would not have. Stay in and write your marriage memoir for others to read about your marriage experience.
- PATIENCE MAKES YOU TO FULFILL YOUR DIVINE ORDER
If you are a Christian you might probably swore before your spouse “for better for worst” and went on to recite what God has join together, let know man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)
Even though the scripture makes clear that at the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven( Matthew 22:30), we shall account for our deeds on earth. But the same bible warns us not to break God’s law-“Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill” (Matthew 5:17)
In Colossians (2:8 KJV) the scripture makes explicitly clear “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ”.
To some, there’s no God and to others the teachings in the scriptures are archaic and must be thrown to the bin. But, I can encourage you to remain steadfast in your faith and to continue to hold unto your marriage. God is doing something great in the marriage. Don’t allow yourself to be deceived; to contemplate of divorcing your spouse.
- PATIENCE MAKES YOUR KIDS TO REWARD YOU IN THE FUTURE
Your children would grow and realize the sacrifices you have made in their lives when they realized that a lot of marriages failed on the way but you and their mother brought them up together.
The scars of divorce are too serious to ignore. Your children would continue to ask sensitive questions if the marriage failed and make decision as to whether to marry or not. Yes the implications of divorce are too serious to play with.
Let your kids say “thank you daddy” for holding unto you marriage. They would definitely reward you and appreciate you among men.
We have been able to discuss 9 cogent reasons why you must live with your wife with patience. It is my pray that you would employ what we’ve discussed into your relationship so that you can have long lasting marriage. Please get my ebook: 98 SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE GUIDE FOR LONG LASTING MARRIAGE
Until we get in touch again