When you first found the love of your heart, you wish the whole world should gather around and celebrate you. It’s like the world should come to a standstill. That’s how most relationship started with so much frenzy but along the line, the spark dies down, probably due to familiarity and we begin to forget about what brought the two of you together ( first love). Read about these 9 mistakes most men make in their relationship so as to avoid them.
Mistake No. 1
Failure to Respect Your Partner
Every man demands respect from the partner. But, it’s very difficult for some men to reciprocate respect in similar fashion. Our partners demand the same level of respect given to us. I know some women accept the status quo and suffer in silence.
The fact of the matter is that real men respect every woman not to talk of disrespecting their wives. When we disrespect our partners, it tells the kind of upbringing we had when growing up. Respect is not commanded, it is a give and take affair so long as the marriage union is not a ‘military academy.’ The more you respect and value her, the more respect she would return. Don’t use your social standing to manipulate your partner to respect you while disrespecting her in return.
Mistake No. 2
Failure to Apologize When At Fault
The number one problem of most men is to come to the level of their partners and apologize to them.
The men ego hinders their ability to see their faults and say darling, ‘I am sorry’. Saying sorry is very important in any long lasting relationship and if it is done genuinely, we win back the love of our partners. I know as a man how it feels like to say I am sorry, but men must learn to say I am sorry. We are human and so far as we interact with our partners daily, we are likely to step on their toes. It does not take anything from us but rather, it demonstrates our humility towards our partners. If Jesus Christ can wash the feet of the disciples as we read in the Bible, then we are not above rendering apologies to our own partners when we offend them. Women expect their partners to recognize their faults and NOT to turn blind eyes on them as if nothing happens. If your partner refuses to talk about it; do not assumed she has forgotten about it.
Mistake No. 3
Failure to Support Her to Look Attractive and Beautiful
Appearance and looks is women ‘thing’. It is your duty to assist your partner to showcase her beauty through the way she appears to the public. Many of us are too busy to check things like: their hairdo, dresses, shoes and colour combination etc.
Your partner is not asking you to tell her what to wear but she is asking your opinion about the best possible combinations when she is going out for a programme either with you or alone. She may also want your opinion about the latest fashion.
Even when your partner has her own fashion designer, she wants your little comment to assure her everything is fine. In this way you can be in a position to know when to support her to change her wardrobe. Don’t fancy other women who dress elegantly in the office and sometimes chase after them while not showing any interest in what she wears.
You can make your partner beautiful when you get involved in her outfits.
Mistake No. 4
Failure to Cater for your Family
It is your responsibility to cater for the family. No matter how much your partner earns, it is your primary responsibility to provide the needed financial, material and security for your partner and the family at large.
Some men are becoming irresponsible towards their own family, leaving the upkeep of the kids for their partners to take care of. If this is your attitude, you can change it. Don’t get a pay rise or promotion, and immediately desert the home so as to spend time outside with other women rather than your spouse. If you spend the little money you have on drinking and indulging in other irresponsible behaviours, you are ruining the relationship and may sooner than later run it to the ground.
Your partners is assisting you to cater for the family, but don’t leave the responsibility on her alone. When you provide the needs of your partner, the divine hand (God Almighty) would not forsake you in times of difficulty.
The role of a father can’t be substituted in any way when it comes to providing for the home. The irresponsibility of some fathers has driven some kids into prostitution and forced some youth to become gangsters across the world. Don’t force your child into such acts but rather be a responsible father.
Mistake No. 5
Failure to Talk to Your Partner Politely
Your spouse is not your child or your employee at work. You must recognize that before you married her she was living her independent life. Now that you brought her under your roof not out of compulsion but love, let that love determine how you talk to her.
Don’t talk to her loosely when you are angry. It hurts your spouse if you are the type of GUY who is in the habit of always shouting at her. From my survey it was one of the things women identified and found disgusting about their spouse and you should desist from it.
There is a scripture verse in the Bible that says ‘a gentle answer turns away anger’. In your moment of anger, cool down and talk to her as a gentleman later.
Mistake No. 6
Failure to Sit Around Her When At Home
Some men think their mere physical presence in the home amounts to availability in the home. It’s true that your physical body is present in the home but you are still absent in the house. Why? You are not available for your wife to discuss what transpired in your absence. Don’t you care to know what happened to her and by extension the kids? Some men make the mistake of occupying their lives so much to the extent of bringing work home.
Even at home, ‘these men’ still think of business instead of discussing family issues. Your wife needs you around her so that she can find out what happens at work. Don’t just come home without making yourself available for her. If it is possible, leave all work related tasks and come home without them.
Don’t come and showcase yourself and do other stuff instead of discussing family issues.
Let practice to stay home and be 100% available to her and the kids.
Mistakes No 7
Don’t be too difficult to be understood
Things may be difficult sometimes in a relationship. But hold on a little without becoming too difficult and make life difficult for your partner to understand you.
Most men extend their difficult situation to the home and create all kinds of problem in the home. Please know that your partner wants the very best for you but can’t control everything that happens to you. You are responsible for how you react to what happens to you at any point in time.
Discuss the challenges you are facing with your partner and seek her opinion about what help she can offer to help address the challenge you are facing. You can’t always get your way in a relationship. Learn to appreciate the difficulty and relax for things to get better.
Mistake Number 8
Failure to Forgive Your Partner for His Mistakes
Here again another scripture in the bible comes handy. It says ‘we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God’ (mercy and forgiveness) Roman 3:23. What is the level of hurt or wrongs your spouse has committed against you that you cannot forgive?
Forgiveness is a divine duty we must all adhere to. The verse in Romans 3 makes it clear that we are all sinners and did not deserve the mercies of God but Christ through his precious blood forgive us. We are to emulate our Lord Jesus Christ or a higher power you believe in no matter the offence.
Your partner is first and foremost human and may have her shortcomings. She is not a super perfect being and can easily (wrong you). Get the issues out of your heart. Keeping the issue inside your heart will weaken your soul and spirit. Un-forgiveness can kill you eventually if you continue to give the issue prominence in your heart.
Mistake Number 9
Failure to Be Truthful and Loyal To Her
Lies destroy. Let your yes be yes and no be no. Don’t allow the situation you find yourself forced you to cover up any vital issues from her. Be truthful because your personal integrity before your partner is at stake. Nothing can remain hidden forever in this world. You may be untruthful today but watch out for tomorrow’s surprises. Let your spouse stand by you for what you stand for.
Admit your mistake by telling the truth. It is in your own interest to remain truthful all the time. Your relationship needs that ingredient for survival. If telling your spouse the truth could cause the marriage to break up, say it and set your conscience free..
Remain loyal to your partner no matter the difficulty you are facing. Do not get out of the relationship because your partner has a problem. Let her problem be your problem. Take note that you are into it together. Don’t jump the gun; better days could just be a few days ahead.
If you learn to avoid these mistakes men make in their relationships, it will go a long way to make your relationship stand out from other relationship.
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