There are so many habits that can exhibit in marriage. Many of the habits are ignored by women but some must be addressed quickly in order to save the marriage from total collapse. Marriage is a sacred institution which must not be entered into lightly. But once you enter, you must do everything possible to protect it from falling.
Please read the following 10 Bad habits that make women unhappy in the marriage and learn to avoid them
- FAILURE TO PAY HER ATTENTION
Attention (N) from the basic dictionary means if something has your attention or if you are paying attention to it, you have noticed it and are interested in it. So we can use attention with: (center of attention, attention to detail, call or direct someone’s attention) etc.
Lack of attention is becoming a serious threat to so many relationships because some men are not paying attention to issues that matter to their partners. It is worrying to see how much attention some men give to their businesses and business partners but do the opposite with their spouses at home.
If you really love and respect your wife, do you make her the centre of attention in everything you do? Do you pay attention to what matters to her and give her your undivided attention? The cell phone has come to make life easy and enhances communication among others, but don’t allow this same device to take attention from your wife. I head a lady said “he doesn’t pay attention to me”. “He does what please him alone”
Give your partner undivided attention and take action on what she tells you. Sometimes, you just have to pay attention to her and let her pour out her heart out to you.
- FAILING TO PROVIDE THE NEEDS OF YOUR KIDS
The needs of children keep rising by the day. These needs could range from feeding, clothing, and healthcare, pre-school –to college among other stuff. These items on the list take a chuck of the household income and should seriously engage your attention.
Leaving your spouse alone to hassle in order to provide all these needs for your c children, among to shedding lawful responsibility. It’s amazing many men want to be called fathers, but some are however not prepared to take up the responsibility of fatherhood.
So many marriages are going through challenges because of this act of irresponsibility on the part of some men who just simply called themselves husbands.
Some children were influenced to join various deviant groups because, fathers were lacking in those homes. The situation is worse in the developing world with so many street children and teenage prostitution.
As a matter of fact, it is your responsibility to provide for the upkeep of the home and you must not relegate this duty to your wife alone. She is in your life to assist you take care of the home, and not to take over your responsibility.
- FAILING TO PROVIDE THE NEEDS OF YOUR SPOUSE
In some parts of the world the couples keep different accounts because it becomes more or less a tradition thing; where the men don’t want their wives to know how much they earn as a way of income. Men in such tradition provide some money as family expenses for the month.
However in other part of the world, couples maintain joint account. In this home, it is easy for the couples to decide what ought to be bought for the wife and what should follow later.
You spouse wants you to buy her the things she needs and find difficult to tell you. Don’t wait for her to tell you what she needs or wants. Send her out to her favourite beauty shop and let her buy what she needs. Buy her jewelry, shoes, panties, brassieres and clothes etc during special days.
Try to raise the status of your wife by the way she dresses and carry herself about before her significant friends. Engage her in discussion for her to tell you what she wants and encourage her about the plans you are making to provide those things for her.
You may not have all the money to buy her all the things she needs but continue to demonstrate you care about her through your lifestyle and daily interaction with her.
- DATING OTHER WOMEN OUTSIDE THE MARRIAGE
I conducted an interview among 500 women in 2017 to find out how infidelity affects their relationships with their husbands. About 99% of the women claimed that infidelity will be the basis for walking out of the marriage if they have proof to that effect.
There are startling revelations of infidelity across all ages of the married class and the trend is becoming very worrying. Infidelity will destroy your relationship when your partner gets to know about it. Once infidelity occurs, trust is destroyed and intimacy is reduced to zero. A lot of men, who get involved in these acts, later regretted their action and some turn on a new leaf.
However, I want you to understand that trust is one of the pillars that bind the two of you together (the relationship). Don’t break the trust your partner has for you. Once it is broken, it will be difficult to amend with your spouse.
My advice to men dating other women is to avoid going to places that are potential to make them commit infidelity and also to stop interaction with women who are tempting them to commit affair outside their marriage. The temptation to commit infidelity is real and any man including your husband can fall easily. But, exercise self control and think of how far you have come with your partner to destroy what you’ve built together over the years. Avoid this ungodly habits and save your marriage.
- POOR COMMUNICATION AT HOME
I know how much I want to be left alone sometimes without any disturbances from my kids as well as my wife. However, I set time every weekend to find out if there is something I needed to know before we enter the next week. My wife, Lizzy will open up and tell me everything that needs to engage my attention from the home to the kids and other pertinent but very important issue to her. It has worked so far so good. Find a time to listen to her. Avoid interrupting her and let her alone talk till she has nothing more to tell you.
Communication between spouses can’t be over emphasized, because it allows couples to resolve conflict easily; since it allows your partner to know what you are thinking about (your fears and worries)
Don’t use tiredness as a facemask to fail to communicate with your spouse. Your wife is sensitive and emotional than you think. Do everything possible to clear any doubt she may be having about your inability to face her and discuss family issues in detail with her. Face the reality and explain issues frankly with her. Don’t allow her to read your mind. She may misread your mind and that can lead to misunderstand and conflict in the marriage.
- FAILURE TO ASSIST HER IN DOING DOMESTIC CHORES
Yes, it is a matter of fact that women want assistant in this regard. This domestic stuff matter to women because it is becoming burdensome to most women and they need urgent assistance to relieve them from suffering in silence.
The traditional concept of a woman being a housewife and reserved to the four corners of the home is long gone. Most women are now career women and double as a wives and mothers at the same time. These many tasks of the woman are becoming daunting in the home.
The engagement of domestic house helps has helped some women to alleviate their stress and suffering. But, this engagement comes with cost. Payment in the form of wages and other cost can be very challenging if the family budget can’t adequately cater for it.
The other non material cost which you may be aware of is the cost of sexual exploitation of these maids by the men whose wives engaged these girls. It’s against this background that most women want to do away with the engagement of domestic servants or house helps.
My advice is that, try and find out from her what area of domestic chores she needs your assistance and try to schedule your plan to assist her. Your marriage will never be the same if you start helping her in the home.
- FAILURE TO COMPLEMENT AND SHOW APPRECIATION
Showing your wife appreciation and compliment show how much you love whatever she has been doing for you and the kids. Do you genuinely demonstrate to her that you care about her look when she wears something beautiful that makes her attractive and elegant?
Don’t be quick to appreciate and compliment other women when you have not appreciated and compliment your spouse for ages. Some men find it extremely difficult to compliment their partners, even though they wish to do so, but most of them lack the courage to do so.
Showing compliment to one’s spouse is a challenge that men have to overcome. Gather the courage to tell your spouse you’re charming in your hair do, sexy in your dress, beautiful in your bracelet etc are great way of affirming she is still dear and attractive to you.
The appearance of a woman is important to her and she wants assurance from you to assure her she’s still the only woman occupying your mind. When the sex is hot and exciting, tell her to show gratitude and don’t take it for granted. When we show appreciation to our wives, we open the door to receive more from them.
- FAILURE TO SPEAK THE TRUTH
A friend tells me some time ago that it is not everything that you must tell your wife. His reason was that woman can’t be trusted. I quickly remarked “if men can be trusted”
A lot of men are of the view that telling your wife everything you do amounts to lowering your respect before her. Those who hold this position think that women don’t have the capacity to keep every secret.
It may be true that some women as soon as you tell them your true financial status, demands may continue to fly from the roof to the roof top but that should not stop a good husband from telling the spouse the truth about everything you do.
You must tell the truth always and avoid any short cut that may be discovered by your spouse later. There is nothing that can remain hidden under the sun forever, that’s why your yes, must be yes and let your spouse vow for what you stand for at any material moment.
When the truth of our secret finally comes out, trust is broken, integrity is bruised, personality is damaged, relationship will be torn apart, friends turn to become enemy and lovers become hateful to each other.
I would encourage you to be truthful to her even if she is not truthful, your honesty will change her along the line.
- FAILURE TO SATISFY HER SEXUAL NEEDS
There is a common saying in certain part of the world that “satisfies her in the night so that early in the morning she will call you daddy”. We are living in a fast paced world and we can over-work ourselves. Whatever the case may be, you must not relegate your conjugal duties to your work. We need to find time and refresh ourselves before going to bed.
Most of us have given too much excuse for not having sex with our wives. Sexual needs are one of the fundamental human needs including even animals. Your wife cannot get sexual satisfaction from anyone else a part from you. If any of you hide on the altar of tiredness but derive satisfaction with someone who is not your partner, it amounts to committing extra marital affair.
Men should guard against extra marital affairs and devote time for their lawful wives. If we take care of our wives very well, they will maintain their beauty and attractive features all the time.
Dress your wife and you will fall in love with her over and over again.
- FAILURE TO BE A CARING PARTNER
Women by nature want their husbands to pamper them once in a while. They want their men to demonstrate love and affection at all time. They want you to prove to them that you truly care about everything around them.
How quick are you in responding to the needs of your partner? Even if you do, is it timely and serve the immediate purpose. A caring husband does not postpone anything that needs to be done urgently. They provide solution before their partners make demand. If their partner is sick, it is assumed that they are equally sick. Early medical attention is sought to address the problem.
You should always be available to offer any assistance to her in a timely fashion. Be ready to make the little sacrifices for your partner, provided that will make her happy. If you care about her she would not hesitate to call you darling every day. Who are you? How will your spouse describe you? Find out from her and begin to do things that will qualify you to be called darling.
Do the little things she admires of you and never stops be the man she always dreamt of before marrying getting marrying to you. If you follow these discussions, you would not fall into these 10 bad habits that destroy most marriage relationships
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