Even though we all dreamt of meeting that special someone one day, our dream can only become a reality when we go out to date that potential guy or lady.  You can’t be too careful and expect to meet that special guy you have been dreaming of. Develop a winning mindset instead of a negative mindset of failure. Below are the 6 Great Reasons to date in the midst of past disappointment, hurt or failure



Haven’t you heard the old “phrase monkeys walk by sizes”? It is really true when it comes to relationship. You can admire someone from a distance and conclude he or she might be the best guy or lady for you.  However, you have to take the initiative to get to know who the real person is and determine whether it fits into your expectation of a life partner. The number 1 reason why many people are unwilling to date is the old mindset of failure. The reality of life is that the Past is not = to the Future. Don’t allow your past to determine your future prospect of finding a partner. You can’t just tell from the crowd whether it is going to rain until it starts to rain. If you allow you past to hold you back, you will miss the opportunity to meet a potential lady or guy who might be praying and dreaming to have someone like you. Go out and date that guy or lady, for you will never know what that date will turn out to be.


Haven’t you heard ‘all that glitters are not gold’? Yes, they may not and that is the reason why you need to get to the detail. Don’t accept the surface explanation of your potential partner without getting to know more. How do you know more? Ask more questions and demand more detailed answers. This is also the time to collaborate what you’ve been told by your potential guy or lady to determine the veracity of his or her claim.  Paying close attention to what he or she likes and dislikes and weigh them against your set of likes and dislikes. Check whether what he or she says matches the body language (eyes, face, hair, gestures, posture, cosmetics, accessories, clothing, actions, and use of space?) According to Sam Deep-Lyle Sussman, (Yes, You Can!) 1,200 Inspiring Ideals for Work, Home and Happiness, 50% of what we say comes from our body language. So pay close attention to the body language of your partner anytime you are having a conversation.  Don’t be infatuated by love and ignore hidden details that he or she might be keeping from you but take time to conduct some ‘acid tests’ on him or her.



Are you really making any progress with your partner? Have you been able to settle disputes between you quickly or it has to drag on for weeks. What’s your frank position about your partner’s commitment to the relationship? This is not the time to lie to yourself and pretend all is well when you know from the bottom of your heart the opposite is true.  Remember the reason for dating is to get to know your compatibility with your partner and the possibility of you both living together some day. Don’t just pay attention to your heart and feelings. Listen to that small voice within you. Your intuition can’t fail you. If you are not comfortable with your partner because of certain unresolved issues or differences in what you stand for then you have to advice yourself.  Take some time alone and reflect on your future with him or her. Do you feel at ease in his or her presence? Are you troubled in your spirit that things might go well? Do you miss him or her when he or she is aware? Is your feeling real or based on your past? Examine yourself and make a quick decision. The earlier you make the decision, the better for you.



Have you been able to identify any common interest you can build on in the future when you both decide to get marry? As a matter of fact, no relationship survives without at least one common interest between you. What natural talent, skills, abilities, knowledge and interest bind you together? You need to identify them early at this stage in the relationship. Your common interest could be a common religion, common ideological view, interest in charity, philanthropic activities etc.


Like I stated earlier, dating is not marriage. So at this stage, you are just discovering and getting to know each other without any binding commitment.  You are not under any obligation to continue hanging on if you identity certain behaviours that didn’t match your expectation; you are free to discontinue the relationship and move on with your life. Don’t try to force your potential partner to fit your aspiration of a life partner. You wouldn’t succeed in this pursuit. It will amount to chasing a wild horse. You can’t change him or her after marriage. Any change should take place at this stage. #go out and date

Read also about 5 Dating Mistakes to Avoid

Until then,

 Scout Linsky

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