YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOUR PARTNER WANTS YOU TO DO CHORES AT HOME
The concept of household chores has been predominantly associated with women as far back to the pre-colonial era where females are made to serve in the household and the men engaged in the farms and do other strenuous activities. Gone are those days where women are confined to the home without any opportunity to explore their potentials. As time goes on we can all attest to the fact that things have drastically changed especially in the last century. It is against this background that I am of the strongest proposition that the modern man must take active part in the domestic chores for the smooth running of the home as happening in many jurisdictions world wide. Below are the five reasons to justice my claim.
1.THE MULTIPLE ROLES OF THE MODERN WOMAN
The modern woman is a “multi faceted person” who plays different roles beyond the confine of her home. Unlike the olden days where women stay at home and take care of the domestic activities and give birth to showcase the man’s position in the society, the modern woman plays her role as a mother to her children, a wife to the husband, a career woman in her place of work and a mentor to several others. In view of the above, the modern man must expel the notion that the domestic activities are reserved entirely for the woman. What do you normally do when you come back from work and your wife is not at home? Is it the usual mantra “I am the man” and wait for “thy wife” to come before things start running? This is where you need to act as a modern man and take active part in the domestic activities of the home. Household chores are increasingly becoming challenging to most career women and all hands must come on board to ease the work load in the home.
- NO MORE HOUSEWIFE MR MAN
Who is a housewife? A housewife is a married woman who does not have paid job, but instead looks after her home and children ( COBULD Learners Dictionary). Having defined a housewife in the modern context, we can proceed to discuss whether the modern woman can be labeled as a housewife or otherwise. The changing trends of household chores distributions have been cited in various articles: Hiller, D., & Philliber, W. (1986). The division of labor in contemporary marriage: Expectations, perceptions, and performance. Social Problems, 33 191–201.Google Scholar a Model, S. (1981). Housework by husbands: Determinants and implications. Journal of Family Issues, 2 225–237.Google Scholarnd are a few examples.
In my case, my wife Lizzy is a professional fashion designer with more than 8 apprentices to train for each season. I am a high school teacher, counselor and a writer. We have four kids but no domestic house help. She works to bring part of her money home and so do I. Each of us assists in the domestic activities so as to keep the home running by scheduling our time and programme appropriately in such a way that no one is over stressed. In my home no one is a housewife but we are active partners in the home without defining any role for ourselves.
As a man who usually comes home before my wife, I assist the children when they are back from school and ensure that they do their home exercises, help them to take their shower and make sure everything is fine before they retire to bed. My wife on the other hand makes sure the various dishes are prepared and packaged in the freezer and the fridge. We do our laundry and cleaning of the house on Saturdays. Even in the midst of the huge assistance I give my wife she still complains of tiredness every now and then because of her workloads any time she comes home.
3. MOST WOMEN ARE NOW MAKING SIGNIFICANT FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS TOWARDS THE HOME UPKEEP
My grandmother once told us (her grandchildren) “their life was easy and smooth in those days because their husbands go to farm and bring home game and fresh farm produce for meal preparation”. But these days my mother has to run around to put food on the table because my dad had travelled and my mother has to take charge immediately.
Some women are making a huge income than their husbands these days and they are supporting their spouses in paying for mortgages and other monthly bills. In fact, some ‘stay at home wives’ are making 5-6 figure monthly income. The good news of the trend is that these hardworking women are able to ask their husbands to stop their paycheck job and join them (the women) to run the family business. In otherwise, they have retired their husbands early from their hectic long hour’s day jobs so that they can pursue other bigger goals. I told a friend recently that ‘modern men’ are luckier than their predecessors. If you are blessed to have a wife who cares about the family, she would ensure that your success becomes her concern and would go extra mile to make sure you are equally successful and happy.
It is difficult for some men to accept the fact that their spouses are earning more monthly income than them. But, rejoice if you have a wife who is hard working to support you to run the home and never feel threatened as happened in some homes. In the unluckily event of layoff, your wife would give you and the family the needed support until things normalize at your end. You should not feel insecure and depressed over your wife success and stop supporting her in running the home. There are real life stories where some women feel unhappy of the behaviours of their husbands who interpreted the financial success of their wives to mean something differently. A woman whose name I withheld told me the husband became so moody all of a sudden when the income of her business skyrocketed to a seven figure every month. The attitude of her husband nearly causes their 10 years old marriage. Hum! Should men always be on top financially?
4. MEN WHO SUPPORT THEIR SPOUSES IN HOUSEHOLD CHORES INCREASE THE BOND BETWEEN THEM
A minister from Pennsylvania in the USA shared a story with us at a seminar organized by their outreach. According to Minister Greg, the wife has not been happy to welcome him anytime he comes from work. She is always unhappy and doesn’t bother about his presence, not even a welcome. That was the time their first daughter was born and he attributed the mood swing to the nursing of the kid. But that went on for about a year and the attitude of the wife is getting worse towards him. However, this time round, he decided to ask the wife what exactly is troubling her. The wife initially refuses to speak to the issue but his persistent request made the wife to speak out one fine Sunday after church service. Greg, “ever since we got married it has been one event or the other and you never bothered to help me do any of the household chores”. The response was a surprise to him because he didn’t think doing the household chore was a big thing to his wife. He however accepted the challenge and politely asked which area she needed his assistance. She told him to do the dishes for her after she has finished cooking. Another big shock! However, he decided to put everything aside and make his wife happy by assisting her in washing the dishes both after cooking and after eating.
To his amazement, this singular activity has made the wife a happy woman and her attitude towards him has been fantastic to say the least. His romantic life with the wife has improved and excuses he normally received from the wife when it comes to sex have stopped. He encouraged men at the seminar to ask their wives how they can help them to manage the home beyond giving money in order to promote happy family relationship at home.
The long narrative is what is prevailing in most homes when the men come eat and do nothing. Find out from your wife in which way you can assist her to do the domestic chores. Don’t be too big to do little things for wife. Even if you have a domestic help, because there will always be something she may want you to personally get involved in at home.
- HELP YOUR WIFE TO REDUCE STRESS AND ITS RELATED HEALTH PROBLEMS
As a matter of fact, domestic activities are really involving and can sap the energy from your wife if she is left alone to do all these things and still play her romantic role as a wife. I get involved with these chores everyday and can confidently say it is demanding because the activities in the home has no end and revolves every day until one retires to bed. Don’t you want your wife to continue to maintain her sexy shape and look younger and attractive to you?
According to Department of Psychiatry, University of California School of Medicine, San Francisco depression and stress is linked to a state of accelerated aging (9 Nov2009).
So gradually, stress and depression may have effect not only on her health but her total appearance as well. Keep your wife in shape by helping her do domestic house chores.
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