Women are special type of people who can endure all types of things in their marriage but when they reach their limit, it is difficult to bring them back. Take note of these 7 bad habits your spouse wants you to stop.
- NOT GIVING HER MUCH ATTENTION
A lady friend by name Jessica, once told me something one day at a wedding dinner that “attention is women thing” Really! That was the respond I gave her. I heard the same stuff being chorused by several other women including my wife, Lizzy.
What then is attention that our lovely women crave so much for? Attention (N) from the (Intermediate Learners Dictionary) means if something has your attention or if you are paying attention to it, you have noticed it and are interested in it. So we can use attention with, center of attention, attention to detail, call or direct someone’s attention.
Now that we situate what attention really means from the dictionary point of view, do you give your wife undivided attention? Do you really care about her hairdo, make up, choice of dresses for a function or you just look on for her to wear anything to go out. This is really the issue women complain about. Most men stop noticing what their spouses wear when they go out without a word from them. Your spouse needs those little compliments from you even if you are not the one who bought those items for her. Next time, leave the phone and notice what she is wearing out and pay compliment when she looks gorgeous in her outfit. Get involve and give her alternative suggestion about the right dress to wear if it becomes necessary. My wife has always accused me for not paying attention to her when she is speaking to me. I have seen stopped doing other things when she needs my attention. What is your situation with your spouse?
- FAILING TO PROVIDE THE NEEDS OF YOUR KIDS
The needs of children keep rising by the day. These needs could range from feeding, clothing, health care, pre-school education among other stuff. These lists take a chunk of the household income and should seriously engage your attention as a husband. If you have the means to provide for the family but deliberately leave the upkeep of the children to your spouse, you could best be described as irresponsible and will soon be hauled before a court for your child neglect or whatever the charges may be. Excuse me I am not a lawyer but the family lawyers will definitely prefer a charge against you.
Many men are proud to be called fathers but they are not however ready to take the responsibility of fatherhood. How sad! Many marriages failed because of this act of irresponsibility of some men. We have street children roaming in certain parts of the world who later join all kinds of illogical ideological groups to create problems for the world. Many of these children have potentials to become great men but we fail them because fathers neglect their responsibilities. An old man once said “Giving birth is not the main thing but taking care of them”. I grew up to understand what that old man was saying some 20 years ago when I was in high school and now a responsible father of four kids. If you fail to take care of your kids, you equally fail society and the world. Don’t fail your family and produce children who will later become social misfit for society.
- FAILING TO PROVIDE THE NEEDS OF YOUR WIFE
In some parts of the world, couples keep different accounts because men in certain part the world don’t want their wives to see how much they earn as a way of income. The men provide some amount of money as family expenses for the month. However in other parts of the world couples maintain joint accounts. In this case it is easy for the couples to decide what to buy for the wife and what should follow later.
“Women are like Oliver Twist” we all read about in our high school days; they would never stop from asking for more. But, failing to buy her the things she needs and secretly admires will make her unhappy in the marriage. Try and raise the status of your wife by taking her out for shopping occasionally. Surprise her with new things she least expect from you and she would feel proud of you. Engage her in discussion to know what she needs and what plans you are making to meet those needs for her. If you do this out of love, it will reduce the unnecessary tension in your home
- DATING OTHER WOMEN BESIDES HER
I conducted an interview among 50 women to know how the issue of infidelity affects those (women) in their relationship with their spouse. About 99% of women who took part in the survey claimed that infidelity will be a basis for them to walk out of the marriage home.
Time magazine survey of 2017 indicates there are slightly more men than women who admitted having sex with someone other than their partners. The incident is common among married young age groups. A new survey from infidelity site Ashley Madison sheds light on the reason cheaters stray from their marriages. Ashley Madison, which caters to married people who want to have an affair to do so has more surveys to confirm the widespread of these incidents.
Infidelity is becoming a global phenomenon that cuts across all segments of our society today and destroying marriages in many homes across the world. Even though statistics suggest men are ranked higher in this situation, women are also cited in various reports.
Once infidelity occurs, trust is destroyed and intimacy in most cases is reduced to zero because of lack of trust. Many men who get involved in this act later regret their actions and normally turn on a new leaf. However, when trust is broken through infidelity, it is difficult to mend. I have spoken to men who found themselves in such act who vowed never to fall into such trap ever again but it became too late for a second chance. In most cases, the women packed out of the marriage home when they discover about the affairs.
My advice to men reading this post is to avoid all appearances that world trap them to commit sexual affair outside their marriage. The temptation is real and any man can easily fall for sexual temptation. Self control is the single most important weapon at your disposal which can help you to overcome sexual lust. Think about how far you have come in your marriage and never allow an affair to destroy what you have built together over the years with your spouse.
- POOR COMMUNICATION AT HOME AFTER WORK
I know how much I want to be left alone sometimes after work without any disturbances from my kids as well as my wife, Lizzy. I was lucky to have a woman who comes home late as a result of her work as a fashion designer. Communication between spouses can’t be over emphasized, because it allows your partner to know what you are thinking about, your fears and worries etc. When men use tiredness as an excuse in order not to communicate with their wives, women on the other hand may interpret the poor communication to mean different thing altogether. It could mean you no longer see them attractive and value their opinion, hence your refusal to communicate with them. Or you are having affair and trying to avoid them. Your spouse is very sensitive and emotional than you think. Do every thing possible to clear any doubt she may be habouring about you through open communication with her.
- FAILURE TO ASSIST HER IN DOING DOMESTIC CHORES
You must understand that this domestic stuff matter to women. Domestic chores are becoming burdensome to most women and they need men to assist them in this regard. The age old traditional concept of a woman being a housewife is outmoded and gone forever. Most women are now career women and also double as wives and mothers at the same time. These many tasks of the modern woman are becoming a challenge in the home. The engagement of domestic house helps has relieved some women and alleviates their stress and depression. However this house helps or maids also come with their cost. Payment in the form of wages and other cost can be very expensive, if the family budget can’t adequately cater for these expenses.
The downside of engaging these female workers in the home is sexual exploitation of some of these maids by their “madam’s husbands”. In some cases, female house helps or maids later become “substitute wives’’
It is against this background that most women want to do away with domestic servants and appeal to their spouses to assist them in this domestic stuff. Try and find out from your spouse what area she needs your assistance and support.
- MEN WHO BEAT THEIR WIVES
There is a common saying in some part of the world that goes like this; ‘Real men don’t beat women’
Whatever the reason may be, don’t ever beat your lovely wife. Your wife is a partner and must be treated with respect just like the way you respect your other business partners and colleagues at work.
I sometimes wonder why men give so much respect to other women outside the home but show least respect to their wives at home.
A part from the fact that beating of your wife can land you into jail, you may also lose respect of your wife, in-laws, children and other significant people when they get to know.
Control your anger and walk away from any argument that could tempt you to lay your hands on your wife.
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