There are things we were all not told when we were planning to become parents but these things are important in the journey to parenthood and having healthy family life
- YOU MUST NOW SEE YOURSELF AS A FAMILY MAN OR WOMAN
To a very large degree, once you want to become a parent, bear in mind that you have to think as a family person. Now that you become a mum or a dad, you must henceforth always think of the well being of the family first before considering yourself. Your family must come first in everything you do from now on wards. Your preoccupation is to ensure that the family is kept safe and nourished. No more personal decision without the input of your wife or husband. Gone are the days when you could take decision on your own and sometimes make very risky decisions, but now, No. You must look at the bigger picture this time round and factor in your family. Ask yourself how would my plan benefit or affect my family. Is it good going ahead with the decision or suspend it altogether
- YOU NO LONGER HAVE A PRIVATE LIFE
The house is no longer for you alone but for all members of the household. Your wife, you and children are members of the household. You should endeavor to create space for interaction between all members of the household. Don’t withhold anything secret from your spouse. Your spouse should be the first to know whatever decision you are making. It is a big mistake to see married men or women who still want private life irrespective of their current marriage status. This selfish attitude of married couple trying to maintain a secret life from their spouse has been one of the many causes of divorce, if the secret life is exposed. Mr. Married man and Madam married woman, please take note of the fact that you are no longer single and you must do things together if you want to succeed in your marriage.
- BEAR IN MIND THAT YOUR HOME CAN’T BE THE NEAT, CLEAN AND ORGANIZED HOME WHEN CHILDREN START COMING IN
I hear people who want their home to be neat and very clean and at the same time want to have children. Don’t deceive yourself. Once children start coming in, you must get prepared to see pieces of papers, crayons, pencils and clothes scattered all over the place. Your kids will be picking and scattering things all over the place in their formative years as they interact with their immediate environment, the home. Be prepared to keep on arranging things in the home as often as possible at this stage of your children’s growth. See this stage as a stage when your children are learning from the environment. If you are the type who wants to see things arranged properly and organized, you may be overwhelmed about their behaviours, but don’t be worried too much about this stage. Just relax and see it as a passing stage to adolescent life.
- YOU MAY NOT GET BACK TO YOUR SHAPE AGAIN IF YOU ARE A WOMAN
The hard truth is that many of our women who give birth never return to their original slim sexy shape again. Most women lost their shape to child bearing. The hormonal changes that occur after a woman has given birth are attributed to so many factors including breastfeeding, antenatal and post natal drugs due to surgery, sedentary life of most breastfeeding women. Whatever the case may be, certain aspect of your spouse will definitely change. Mr. Husband, your wife will not be the same woman she was before you married her, she will undergo changes as you welcome children into the home. Be ready to support her in these changing times. Some women become emotionally disturbed when they realized that they have lost their beautiful body (shape). Accept the changes she may be going through and help her through word of encouragement and assist her with exercises for them to adjust. According to BabyCenter (www.babycenter.com) your adrenal gland that secrets hormones for the body often become fatigue after month of sleep deprivation and producing milk for the body.
Jennifer Ritchie,(www.thebump.com) IBCLC and author of I Make Milk…What’s Your Superpower? Advice breastfeeding women to take these simple steps to lose weight:
- Don’t pressure yourself
- Make savvy substitution
- Set yourself up for success
- Eat smaller, more frequent meals
- Cut calories-but not too much
- Work in exercise and
- Keep at it
- BEAR IN MIND THAT CHALLENGING TIMES WOULD COME ALONG THE WAY
Every marriage is unique and goes through specific challenges. Your marriage cannot be different. You should accept the challenges as they come and deal with them as couple. Marriage is a long journey and not a football game with a time frame of 90 minutes. You must develop a thick skin and subdue self to the background. Running to your mum or dad should be the last thing to do. So many factors are claimed to be responsible for the high divorce rate across the globe. I have also identified these ten (10) reasons as contributing to divorce in our marriages. They are:
- Breakdown of trust due to infidelity
- Disrespect for each other
- Too much of ‘I know my rights’ in the marriage
- Pride and arrogance
- Unwillingness to submit to each other
- Inadequate money for maintenance
- External influence from friends, in laws and the social media
- 8.Lack of headship in the home.
- Un-appreciation on the part of both spouses
- Criticism, where the man or the woman is not satisfied with anything the partner does.
These 10 are my views after 20 years of studying divorces filed in the court and my personal interactions with couples who have separated or divorced. Guide your marriage if you are a born again believer of Jesus Christ through prayer. Don’t join the list of divorcees. Share your experience with me and give me what is missing on the list. Send us an e-mail through firstname.lastname@example.org or comment on our comment box.
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