MARRIAGE IS A JOURNEY AND NOT A DESTINATION MAKE IT SMOOTH
Marriage is a long journey that comes with its own ups and downs. But in the midst of the challenges, there are ways we can still make our partners happy in the marriage
BY HELPING EACH OTHER TO DO THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES
This is one area most women have issues with their spouses. The “traditional men” mentality assumed that, domestic chores are less important and should be the preserved of women. Some men compare what they do at work to that of domestic chores and come to the conclusion that domestic chores are less important. Wrong perception, isn’t it? In fact, household chores are very tiring because of the many facets of it. Technically, there is no break until the woman retires to bed.
Women, who take care of household chores, normally get exhausted before the arrival of their husbands from work. How do I know? I have been assisting my wife throughout our fifteen years of marriage in doing domestic chores, because we have decided not to take a maid after a few bad experiences we had with the engagement of domestic house helps. Frankly speaking, I sometimes get overwhelmed about what I need to do to help her before and after work, because we are all working people and wish I could run away to stay somewhere for a month. ‘That may sound a foolish thing to do’, I asked myself. The question really is; who should I leave the four kids with, if the two of us are not finding it easy. You see, that is what women go through every single day. Don’t say your wife is not complaining, so you won’t offer her assistance in the home. She may be working herself out and probably finds it difficult to tell you. Be a good a husband, not only in terms of providing money, but assist her with some of the chores when you come back from work. It is lovely, if not caring to see you supporting her in some of things she does at home. In fact, she will count herself blessed for marrying a man like you
BY HAVING GOOD COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR SPOUSE
The issue of communication between husband and wife can’t be over emphasized. There is a verb in the Bible that says, “can two walk together except they agree” Now that you agree to walk together, why create a barrier between you both. Y our spouse is your number 1 person you should have frequent communication with than anyone else. When there is effective communication, marital issues are settled quickly, without given it the opportunity to grow into something else. Remember those times when you were praying hard to get her; you could call her a number of times before the day ends. Why should that change, now that you are blessed to be together?
I know you are all trying very hard to provide for the family. I salute all men for that. “It is not easy to take care of a home”, a friend of mine usually tells me. That is the hard truth; no one living under the planet can dispute. However, don’t allow the day to day hassling affect your communication with her and eventually destroy your family life with your spouse. Follow the romantic matrix (decide the number of times you will call her) before coming home. During the day, call her and ask her what she is taking for lunch, where she is gotten to in finishing the task, whether she has been able to call the mum or that friend who is not too well.
BY CHECKING ON EACH OTHER MORE OFTEN AS YOU PART COMPANY TO YOUR WORK PLACES.
Here again, you use to do this at the early stages of your marriage, but has probably stop doing this. How often do you call her to find out whether she has reach her place of work or send her Whatsapp message. Do you send text messages to alert her that you are still thinking of her? After marriage, a lot of things can weigh us (men) down. But, if you are not very careful, challenges in the marriage can prevent you from enjoying your marriage. I know you may be disappointed by the behaviour of your spouse and probably don’t know why you have taken the decision to marry her. But, now that you are in it with her, you can make things better by engaging her through what you do every day with her. My late grandfather said something I want to share with you. He said “marriage is like phlegm, you have to swallow some and spit some out” What he meant is that it is not everything that your wife does that you need to pay attention to. You must ignore a lot of them and address a few important ones if you want to be happy in your marriage. Some men pay too much attention to everything that your spouse does and deprived themselves from being happy. By checking on her often, you would know what is going on in her life
BY PLANNING TOGETHER
What is planning? And why do we need to plan with our spouse. Planning in the basic sense is the process of deciding in detail how to do something before you actually start to do it. Planning is an important part of life, not only in marriage but, in all dimensions of life.
You should cultivate the culture of planning together with your spouse before executing any project or taking any initiative that may affect you both in the marriage. Many men fail to plan with their spouse before executing new idea. When she feels relegated during the planning stage, she will not be enthused to see its implementation and actualization. Do you have the gut to blame her for not supporting you? This deliberate failure on the part of some men to bring on board their partners in planning has brought a lot of conflict in marriages and in some cases separation. My advice is that never hide anything from her and get her involve in planning for anything in the marriage; be it a mortgage for home loan, an insurance, a side business etc.
BY BEING OPEN TO YOUR SPOUSE IN THE MARRIAGE
Indeed, some couples still hold certain secrets to themselves without making it known to their partners. What a tragedy? It is unthinkable to hear some married men, who vowed never to disclose everything to their partners. If you can’t trust your partner, why do you marry her in the first place? Is it for the show of it to your relatives and friends or you really meant what you stand for on the day you both tie the knot. There is no place for any secret in marriage, my opinion. If you respect and value your partner, why do keep certain ‘secrets’ from her. Be open to your spouse and get her to be open to you.
I want to hear your take about why some couples do these things. Share your view on our comment section.
It is your faithful servant
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