The debate for couple to have or not to have a child has been going on across the globe. I think we should state the points and give couples the opportunity to make their own choices. This post is purely for reflection and doesn’t indicate a position by the writer
- PROCREATION ENSURES THE CONTINUITY OF SOCIETY
Procreation is a natural phenomenon where older adults bring forth young offspring (Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary). These occurrences made it possible for generations after generation to continue to exist, because the creator of the universe makes it so. I don’t know what you believe, but it is acceptable practice for all who believe in the supernatural God or the universe as some may call it to fulfill this divine assignment. Animals, trees, birds, fishes, plants, etc. are still obeying this divine order of procreation since time immemorial. So the question is, ‘where is the missing link for some couples not wanting to reproduce their own kind?
I counselled a couple some two years ago, who asked ‘whether it is necessary for every couple to give birth’? But this is a choice the individual has to make. My opinion is that unless nature shuts the womb of a woman, where it may be impossible for the woman not to give birth naturally, every couple should decide whether to have or not to have a kid. We have been created in this world for continuous existence.
However, if you choose not to fulfill this divine order, it is your personal choice. We have been created by a supreme God and not by ourselves. With all the abundance evidence in science, there’s no clear cut scientific findings to indicate that we emerged from other space with no linkage to reproduction
Writing in historical contexts entirely removed from the gay marriage debate, making the case that “the first purpose of matrimony, by the laws of nature and society, is procreation” (that’s a California Supreme Court ruling in 1859), describing the institution of marriage as one “founded in nature, but modified by civil society: the one directing man to continue and multiply his species, the other prescribing the manner in which that natural impulse must be confined and regulated” (that’s William Blackstone), and acknowledging that “it is through children alone that sexual relations become important to society, and worthy to be taken cognizance of by a legal institution” (that’s the well-known reactionary Bertrand Russell).
That brings about my second QUESTION. Why would you like your generation to end at you? If you are the only child of your parent and married but hold the view of not wanting to give birth, I would be interested to know your personal reasons or views. Your exposition of your views would assist me to understand things proper from your perspective. We live in a knowledge society and I am always happy to learn from other’s point of view without sounding judgmental.
2. It makes the couples feel what other couples feel.
I am very much aware that there are few couples even though there have one or no child; dedicate their time and resources to the welfare of others. EXAMPLES of such couples include Beyonce & Jay-Z. The powerhouse musical pair has wallets as big as their lungs. Beyonce gave her entire $4 million salary from the film Cadillac Records over to Phoenix House, a drug treatment center that has provided treatment and recovery options to men, women, and teens. Over the years, husband Jay-Z has donated plenty of time and money, cutting a check for $1 million for the Katrina relief effort and co-producing a song to benefit earthquake-ravaged Haiti. Courtesy Daily parade
Oprah Winfrey is another personality who spent large sums of money to support charitable course. Condoleezza Rice, a one-time US secretary of state has distinguished herself during her working career
But these individuals are the exceptional ones. When couples have children, they are more assertive to societal growth than non-child bearing couples. They feel what other couples with children go through across the globe. Their responsibility will not only be to their children but to seek the general good of society at large. They are more careful to make decision that will affect the wellbeing of children.
The frequent gun violence in certain part of the US in recent times, caused students to demonstrate against their law makers. Some of them hold placards that show that their legislators are failing their generation. It is clear that some of the legislators are not having children of their own and may not feel deeply the agony and pains families go through if they lost their children to gun violence. The question I have been asking myself quietly is: Is the older generation of America failing the younger generation in terms of arms control? Can’t the American society have legislation to control easy access to gun?
3.NOT TO MAKE THE HUMAN RACE EXTINCT
What will come of our beautiful society if our great grandfathers and great grandmothers adopt this lifestyle of convenience and denied Mother Nature her children? You and I of course would not be in existence today. Are you aware that some animals are classified as extinct because they can’t reproduce their young ones to replace them?
These animals are kept in special zoos and research centers for research purpose only. What would you be remembered for after you have left this world and your wealth and money are gone?
Of course whatever you left behind would soon pass away in thin air because you are not available to manage them. However, if you have children, they will continue to reproduce years after years when you are gone to join the invisible world. Share what you think with this view.
4.COUPLES AVOID THE OLD AGE LONELINESS
Loneliness kills and kills slowly than slow poison. You would not be young forever. Remember we are all growing every day and will be unable to do the things we do easily at our youthful age. The old aged homes are getting over populated because of the decisions some couples took not to have children but to enjoy life with their pets. I love pets, and my pet is a white cat I named after my grandfather. My pet is called Pascard but the children called it Paski. It seems it prefers the paski to Pascard.
There is nothing better than having your own children and grandchildren attending to you at your old age or having them to regularly visit you during your old age. I know there are some good caretakers at some of these homes but your grandchildren want to socialize with you at old age and benefit from your rich experience. Don’t just die with your rich experience without transferring your knowledge to your children and grandchildren. When you make your experiences available, you have contributed to making the world a better place than you came to meet it.
5. BE PAMPERED AT YOUR OLD AGE
We all know old age is characterized by sicknesses and diseases due to weakening immune system and general body failure. Some of the sicknesses we experience may be due to certain lifestyle we adopted from our youthful age. If you have a child that you brought up properly, he or she should be available when you need him or her to arrange for your medical needs.
I know many of you have planned for these things but it can be better when you children get involve. Send me an e-mail on firstname.lastname@example.org about your view about the post or comment below
Have a fruitful week
The ingenuity of 21st Century Woman
It is a common fact that our lovely women are better mangers of the home than their male counterparts. These responsibilities are better performed and handled by women. There is no controversy about these roles being performed on daily basis by the majority of women across the globe.
It’s just amazing to see women performing multiple tasks at the same time without compromising any of the task. They can be steaming a meat, making stew, doing laundry and cleaning all at the same time.
I have identified these 10 multiple tasks 21st Century woman engaged in on daily basis, which are worth mentioning and commending.
1. THEY ARE THE ADMINISTRATORS OF THE HOME
As the first ladies of the home, they are the first persons to make quick decision about how things should run in the home. They prepare a budget and present it to their partners for assessment and do fine tuning if it becomes necessary. They plan how money in the home should be spent, giving attention to details without compromising the important things from the essentials.
They decide the menu for the week and changes them from time to time to demonstrate their creativity and cooking skills. Men love their wives food especially if it is prepared according to what the men want.
Planning for the kids is a big challenge but they make this decision every day without compromising on other essential things which ought to be done in the home. The welfare of the kids lies under their care and control. This is because their children interact with them more than their partners. They create the home environment in such a way that their kids can grow up responsibly.
They don’t neglect these motherly duties to any other persons. They play their role so effectively that, their kids would not hesitate to recognize their contributions among hardworking mothers. You see why Mother’s day is such a big thing across the globe in recognition of mothers. It is because mothers play their motherly role effectively to warrant recognition and attention.
If you are a wife, are you performing this roles and responsibilities effectively? I am encouraging you to be a model wife to your husband and an example for your kids.
2. THEY TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE DOMESTIC CHORES OF THE HOME
The management of the home lies on their shoulders. They prepare the best meal not only for their husband but the entire household. As a matter of fact they run all events of the week from their desktop whether playing the role as a mother, a career woman, a wife or a partner. Their domestic responsibilities is managed in such a way that they are not easily stressed out by each passing day.
They plan exactly the schedule of activities for the week and segregate each day with its specific activities. If they have domestic servants, they train them to follow the schedules while they guide, coordinate and supervise activities of the day. They don’t cluster the household chores. As a matter of fact, 21st century women are specific and assigned time to each activity and the role each household member must play. These responsibilities lie squarely on their shoulders and they play it effectively.
3. THEY SUPPORT THEIR HUSBANDS IN DIFFICULT FINANCIAL TIMES.
In the time past, financial responsibilities rest sorely on the shoulders of men. But things have changed tremendously, making women better place to support their partners. Most women now give support and encouragement to their husbands when they are in financially distress due to loss of job, ailments, accident etc.
They revise and cut down the family budget to enable things to run in the home. They give the men assurance that they are with them spiritually and emotionally. They don’t leave them alone when men need them badly at this crucial moment of their life, when their spirit is low. This is a crucial stage where their real love for their husbands are tested. Most of them don’t run away when the family is going through these challenges.
They give an alternative advice for a job or suggest a side business that can later become a full time work for the family. They know it is not easy especially when there is always no money to run the home and some husbands seem not to be concerned. They try and always get closer to them and find out what their plans are for a new job and what they are doing to help things out. They do this in love, without complaining their family values. They make suggestions to them without insisting that their views be taken at all cost.
4. THEY RESPECT AND HONOR THEIR HUSBANDS
They know that if they don’t respect their husbands, it will be impossible for peace and harmony to prevail at home. They are admonished to respect their own husband so that they can also love them and fulfill all obligations toward them.
They don’t compete and argue with them unnecessary. They know that all the sexes have their unique roles to play in the family. They know that no one is more important than the other. They give the respect that is due them and they receive love, care and attention in return.
As a matter of fact, women know that men value and cherish respect than anything else. They know that it does not matter whether they are the daughters of Mr. Bill Gates, President Trump or Carlos Slim etc. If they failed to respect their husbands; they will surely run away from them some day to come. They love their marriage, because they know there is no marriage in heaven; at least, says the Holy Bible.
5. THEY ARE THE CHIEF CONFIDANTE OF THEIR HUSBANDS
They exhibit enough qualities for their partners to trust them. They are aware If their husbands cannot trust them, they will be forced to tell their trusted friends other than them; their wives with confidential matters & information. They make it possible for their husbands to turn to confide in them with any secret information, so that, they can advise them if necessary. They know trust in marriage can’t be compromised
Women know Lack of trust makes most men to hide some sensitive secrets from their spouses, bad decision, though. They Position themselves so well that their men have no other alternative than to tell them what their secret plans and heart desires are. When it comes to information disclosure, men are very sensitive, so most women understand the psychology of men with regards to what information they can reveal. So, they keep any information disclosed to them by their husbands
6. THEY RECEIVE THE QUESTS OF THEIR HUSBAND AS THEIR OWN GUESTS
Receiving guests into the home, most women know is their primary responsibility as a good wife. They are aware it’s possible their husbands may have business partners, colleagues at work or family relations coming to visit once in a while. They create a friendly atmosphere in the home to make their guests form lasting impression about them. They know their husbands can’t live in an island, so they try and create space for occasional guests and visitors. Some of these guests turn out to be a blessing to the family. 21st century women have open arms to receive guests.
7. THEY ARE THEIR CHILDREN’S MODEL FIRST TEACHER
They assist their children to transfer what they learn from the school to the home and vice versa. Because they are the first person the child interacts with during the early hours of the day and the remaining hours after school. They help their children to do their homework/assignment; to complement the teaching learning in school work.
Children sometimes become bored when the learning situation seems to be intimidating. Smart mothers play their roles in a lovely way to provide the needed motivation for them to continue to pursue their education. Advancement in technology is making some children to lose interest in education and become addicted to computer games. So, 21st century women check what their children do with the IPADs, TABLETs, iPhones and computers at home. They don’t just look on, hope and pray that everything will be fine. They take decisive actions about their children right from start.
They teach their child also to form the right moral, spiritual and social virtues. They are very much aware that if their children internalizes these values, it will be difficult to depart from them when they grow up. So, they support every aspect of their school work as much as possible for easy transfer of learning for their holistic growth in the future.
8. THEY PERFORM ALL THEIR CONJUGAL RESPONSIBILITIES
They don’t deny their men of sexual intimacy on any ground by giving flimsy excuses unless it becomes very necessary to do so. They don’t use sex as a powerful tool to maltreat their husbands. If they do something they don’t like, they talk it over with them because they know talking is better than conflicts in the home, but they don’t deny their husbands sex whatever the reason.
They don’t give their partners the opportunity to commit infidelity by giving them the chance to give excuses. Sex is a powerful force that can drive men crazy like “animals”; most women know about this. They know if they continue to deny them sexual gratification, they will be drawn to sex addicted women out there who already have ulterior motives to destroy marriages. They know how it feels like if their spouses continue to give excuses just to refuse having sexual intercourse with them.
Sex is emotional thing, that’s why we need to settle conflict as soon as it occurs so as not to force your husbands into sexual sin (adultery)
9. THEY EXHIBIT HUMILITY AT ALL TIMES
Women of character don’t go into marriage, full of pride but they learn to be humble to their own husbands. They submit to their bosses at work and do humble themselves at home. They demonstrate humility in love and make their husbands feel proud of them. They know being submissive does not make them a fool but it makes them draw closer and closer to their husbands.
Smart women are aware that one quality of a virtuous woman is her ability to be submissive to the husband while making strong alternative opinions in humility. If they disagree with their husbands, which is normal in any marriage, they approach it diplomatically without appearing arrogant. They cut away pride and disrespect in their marriages because they value peace in marriage.
10. THEY CREATE A LOVELY AND FRIENDLY ATMOSPHERE IN THE HOME AT ALL TIMES
They know they are the chief directors of the home. They create a friendly atmosphere in their homes. They make their husbands missed home any moment they have gone out of the house. My wife is a good cook and her cooking alone makes me to miss home when meal time is getting closer. There should be something unique about you that your husband can’t resist no matter how far he has travel outside the home. Do you have something missing in the list? Write to me by sharing your views with me through our e-mail: email@example.com
Watch out for my next post about ten (10) Things 21 century husbands do differently. Don’t miss the conversation
Have a blessed weekend
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THESE THINGS
Wait and read this; it will enable you to check the marriage readiness of your partner before you take the decision to move further with the relationship. In fact, many of us fail to do the due diligence necessary about our supposed would be partners before jumping into relationship with them.
The following are to enable you to assess whether you did what you were supposed to do at the time before saying yes to tie the knot. If you are now preparing to go the long haul then this article would assist you to make the right decision through you own observation and by asking the right questions
1. WILLINGNESS TO DISCUSS MARRIAGE ISSUE WITH YOU
What is marriage after all, you asked? Even though marriage is described varying from social, legal, cultural and socio-political point of view, for the sake of this post, marriage is described as: The mutual relationship of a husband and wife (wedlock): the institution whereby, men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family.
Now that we have been able to situate marriage in context, we can now proceed with the discussion. Has your partner been able to start a discussion about marriage; (what plan he or she has in mind about marriage, raising kids, finance or the date and year he or she plans to marry?) If you have been dating for the past two years and nothing of a sort came out of your numerous discussions with your partner, reassess him or her to check about the readiness to start a family with you. May be, you are the free going type and never bothered about settling down, but if you plan to start a family, or possibly raise kids, then this issue must be discussed carefully between you and your partner. But avoiding marriage discussions when you intended to settle down should give you a wake up call
It is common these days to see people dating for more than 5 years without any plan for marriage. Why is marriage being perceived as a monster? One lady told me, ‘’She better date as long she wish, than to be trapped in the name of marriage, with a wedding ring on her figure’’. Surely, she has cataloged a lot of reasons to justify her claims. Everybody is right in the way he or she thinks, but, if you are ready for marriage, then you are the reasons for this post. In fact, many young men and women are scared to enter into this noble institution, because of the wrong perceptions fueled by propaganda by some activists who don’t believe in marriage.
If you are in a relationship with the intention of settling down and be recognized by your state, then you must engage your partner in discussion about your marriage plan. Every state has its own types of marriage that it’s recognized. Check from your local authority or county to know the types that are available to you. If your partner continues to brush aside marriage discussion, anytime the issue is raised, it is a pointer that he or she is not ready yet for marriage. Don’t force him or her into marriage; it is better to experience a failed or broken relationship than a broken marriage.
2. WILLINGNESS TO INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS OR HER CLOSE FRIENDS
I know you might have been dating for quite some time now, that’s great. But, have you yet been introduced to his or her friends that matter to him or her? Try and find out from him or her; those significant friends that matter to him or her. Start from his or her close work colleagues and try to get introduce to them. This introduction is important because, it demonstrates to you that your partner is not dating other ladies or guys secretly behind you. Yes, indeed, our significant friends serve as a check on what we do, because we are social beings. If you‘ve been dating for more than two to three years and yet, you have not been introduced to at least two of his close friends, then, something is missing somewhere.
Anybody who is deeply in love wouldn’t hesitate to introduce his or her partner to his or her friends within a year. People described love as a dynamo that explodes, especially in the initial stage of any relationship. Anyone who loves you would make you known immediately because; he or she would feel proud to introduce you to those who matter to him or her. Don’t accept any excuses not to be introduced; you are not a partner in shadow. You deserve to be publicized.
Give him or her deadline to be introduced, if your partner fails to honour the deadline without any reasonable justification, just walk out please and meet the right person to have you and get the world to know about you. Introduction in a relationship is very crucial if you intend to become Mr. and Mrs. In the future
3. READINESS TO INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS OR HER PARENT
This stage is very crucial if really you are the dream love of your partner. In fact, after you have been introduced to his close friends, the next level is to test the ‘waters’ by being introduced to the parents. It gives the parent the opportunity to know who has won the heart of their son or daughter and whether or not the right choice has been made.
If he or she is ready to do so, give your partner a thumb up. However, if your partner refuses to do so after a couple of requests, quit, because you are not the right person for him or her. The approval of the parent is so significant because, they will be the main stakeholders who would give their blessings to the marriage, if all things being equal.
Your introduction would make you to know whether you are being accepted through the way you are received. Many good parents would give you a few advice about their son or daughter and what they expect from you. Some of the guys fooled their partners by giving flimsy excuses to delay introduction to their parents. If he refused to introduce you after several attempts, please, don’t hang on, hope and pray that things will change. He is not just ready for you or you are not the best person he or she s looking for, but taking advantage of you to satisfy his or her insatiable sexual desires.
4. WILLING TO INVITE YOU TO HIS OR HER PRIVATE RESIDENCE IF HE/SHE LEAVES SEPARATELY FROM THE PARENTS
Don’t be surprised if he or she refuses to send you to his or her residence. You can’t date him or her without knowing where your partner’s residence is. If, you usually meet in a guest house, a hotel or a friend’s place, then, you have to be observant and do some background works. Some women don’t know the actually residence of their partners, because their partners are not ready to do so.
Your invitation to the house indicates that he or she is not hiding any secret affair from you, hence their willingness to make you known to their neighbours. I know some of you who come to the house, come in late and leave very early without anybody knowing you. In many relationships, the guys normally try to outsmart their ladies, so, please be observant and keep your eyes wild open. Don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of as a result of his “sweet talk”. Watch out and advice yourself if he is not ready to introduce you to a few of his neighbours, advice yourself. Some women are equally guilty in outsmarting their partners; because some can date more than one guy at a time.
5. WILLINGNESS TO WAIT FOR SEXUA L GRATIFICATION
This is not possible, you probably said. I know many of us can’t wait to be married before allowing the ‘golden apple’ to be eaten. A lot of women allow their parties to be removed too early, only to realize that the guy is not ready for marriage. Sad, isn’t it? I can’t exonerate myself from this regard, because I found myself disappointing someone before meeting my wife. Sexual gratification should not form the basis to determine how good your partner will be in marriage
We had enough sex but no marriage. I apologized to all women who fall victim to this bad behaviour of men. I want women to be careful in order not to equate sex to love. They mean two separate things to men. Sex does not necessarily mean love, from men perspective. When a man found the woman of his heart, he can wait as long as possible to marry her before sex. I know you are adults and seriously in love. That’s nice to hear, but how would you feel if after all these things you are not being married and someone has taken your place. What if you are pregnant? Would you commit abortion and feel guilty for the rest of your life? In one of my earlier post, I strongly opposed to long dating, because of its many associated problems.
Kids Hate Parents Who Do this thing
Your kid is giving to you to nurture and train so that he or she can become a responsible person in society when he or she grows up to join the adult community. I know this period can with so many challenges and frustrations; that can sometimes make us take decisions that will adversely affect the child.
Parenting is a complex process that parents must learn through patient, dedication, commitment, love, forgiveness and encouragement. Because, during this process, kids exhibit all kids of behaviors as part of their learning process. Be observant and allow them to play around without becoming too restrictive.
Below are the 5 things parents do that make their kids very unhappy
Many children I interviewed when I was about to write this post identified these five things they wish their parents avoid in bring them up.
1. BEATING OF YOUR KIDS
The first thing they hate about their parent was about the way and manner their parents beat them with the least mistakes they make at home. Subjecting your own child as well as other children to beating is a clear violation to their fundamental human rights. You can discipline your child to live up to an acceptable behavior but do not subject them to beatings. This bad childhood treatment could affect the child to adult life.
Some children pick these negative behaviors and become bullies and subsequently maltreat their own spouses and children in like manner. Beating could also hinder the child to unearth his or her potential in life. I am not by this post suggesting to you that don’t discipline your child, but don’t beat your child as a way of correcting him or her.
2. FAILURE TO FULFIL WHAT YOU PROMISED YOUR KIDS
I know many of us are guilty in this regard. Children are very intelligent when it comes to promises we made to them. They will make sure that they hold you accountable to the promise you made to them. What I normally do if I made a promise to my children is to find an alternative gift to replace what I originally promised them if I can’t meet the exact promise I made to them.
Sometimes, our children may make demand outside your planned budget, but you have to explain to them why they can’t get what they want for now. We need to make our communication with our kids very effective, so that they would know what is important and what is essential but not very important. Once a promise is made we have to find a way to fulfill it. I know we can’t give them everything they demanded but let try to find a way to handle this issue with your kids?
3. FAILURE TO TAKE YOUR KIDS OUT ONCE IN A WHILE
‘Protective love’ can sometimes be detrimental to the growth of your child. Children must be made to go out to explore the natural environment outside the home as much as possible. When they are in the company of their parents outside the home, they may discover many new things to add to what they already know. Keeping your children indoors after school always, may take away their creativity that they may need for their total development.
Many children discover themselves when interacting with their physical environment and in the company with other kids. In my case, every school holiday, I managed to take my three grown up kids out to a place outside the city because the last one is too young to join us. Many of the places we visit are not expensive but it exposes the children to the ‘outside world’. You can plan and take your kids outside the home to the nearby park, museum or cultural center etc. There will be definitely a place in your neighborhood or city where you can send your child.
4. WHEN WE REFUSED TO LISTEN TO THEM BEFORE DISCIPLINING THEM
The common English law states that an accused person is deemed innocent until proven in a competent court of jurisdiction. Kids should be given the opportunity to express their views or opinions on any issue, we, adults deemed inappropriate or wrong. A lot of the time, parents are quick to give punishment without taking the time to listen to their side of the story. It is very appropriate to listen to them first, no matter the wrongs they have committed before taking any action against them. I one day disciplined my first son without listening to the side of his story only to be told by the sister that he wasn’t the one responsible for the offence I have accused him of. We sometimes become judgmental especially when the child is already a ‘naughty child’. Do you sometimes feel guilty of such bladder? We must avoid this negative parental attitudes
5. WHEN WE FREQUENTLY INSULT THEM WITH THE LEAST PROVOCATION
My wife, Lizzy, is guilty of this. She is quick to insult the the if they provoked her. There are many parents out there who also behave in similar manner. Shouting on our kids when they provoked us is a negative behavior that parents must avoid. I know we are human and tempers can sometimes fly through the rooftop but we should endeavor to manage our anger.
I know we are raising children in a challenging times but we need to apply patience and wisdom in nurturing them. Our children learn very fast, but unfortunately, they are also quick to learn about all the negative stuff from their parents. If you want to influence the positive behavior of your kids, try to adopt healthy behaviors that are positive. In this case you can influence them to pick positive behaviors that will not only make them fit into society, but help them contribute meaningfully to society. Share your views about this post and what you think should be added to the list.
A parent who fails to pay attention to the holistic wellbeing of the child will live a disappointed life in old age when the odds will be against you because of your inability to pay attention to what matter the most in your child’s formative years.
There’s more to be a parent than making yourself available in the house and confine yourself in self-imposed prison without making yourself available to your children and the family. Be a responsible parent
- Create a school-like playing environment for the child in the home.
Yes, gone are the days when everything we need in the school are provided in abundance to the extent that we even brought some of the things we use in the school home, for us to play with. Every child wants a school like environment in the home for practical demonstration and practice and also to satisfy their insatiable curiosity. Your kid would not stop playing until he or she fulfills all requirements relevant to the growing age. If your kid fails to destroy, dismantle, disorganize and break things around, then something definitely must be wrong somewhere.
Your child mental faculty comes to play when he or she is allowed to play around her immediate environment beyond the school environment. Do you know that your child spends more time at home than at school? Think about that and help him or her develop the right mental faculty formulation for learning in the future. That is the more reason why parents must create a friendly school-like environment in the home. The reality is that the time allocated to the various school subjects as enshrined in the school curriculum is limited and your child may not have enough time to practice and play with whatever she or he has been taught in the school.
Try and use the corner or the porch to create that school-like home environment for your child. Add coloring books, toes, story books on various subject disciplines, picture books, maps and some exercise books. Assist your child to draw a home time table to guide him or her to utilize the time profitably.
2. BE A STORYTELLER AND GOOD READER TO YOUR CHILD
Children always want to hear their mum or dad tells them their own fairy tale from their own mouth. In fact, children get excited about this and always look forward for dad or mum to tell them a story. Even if you are not good in storytelling, create one from your childhood time to tell them. Remember what happens at your first day in school, how that bully was punished in the class for the excitement of everybody, a story you have read some years ago or told by a friend.
You can always get something to tell your children if you so wish. Storytelling and reading to your children motivate them to want to do the same. It facilitates the acquisition of literary skills and improves the child’s performance in other subject areas. I don’t know your work schedule, but try to find an hour during the weekend to do so. In my case, I use Saturdays and Sundays to tell the children a story and or read a favorite story to them.
After reading a story to your child or children, ask them to identify some of the characters in the story and what they have learned in the story. When you do this at the early stage, they will grow to love comprehension and English Literature. In fact, if your kids can comprehend a story and retell the story and the roles played by various characters in the story, you should be excited of seeing future scholars in the family.
3. INVITE YOUR CHILD’S MATES TO THE HOUSEY
Yes indeed, your child will be happy to introduce their friends they have been playing with at school. Surprise them to play around and occasionally take part in the activity. Your child can’t live like an island and you should give him or her the opportunity to interact with other children in the neighborhood. Don’t be over protective and deny your child the opportunity from learning something positive from their neighborhood friend.
Asking your child’s friends to come and play with them, will also give them the opportunity for you to learn about the type of children your child play with at school. Your duty is to guide them in the course of their visit. Don’t be scared but be proactive in your children’s formative years.
4. TAKE PART IN YOUR CHILD’S ACTIVITY AT HOME
As you are already aware, the child’s first learning encounter is the home. According to Sigmund Fred’s theory of learning, the child first learning interaction is the environment. Since the home is the first environment the child interacts with, parents should play active role in that environment to stimulate the learning experience of the child.
If parents take active part in the activity of their children at home, they are motivated to develop their skills and talents early in life. Many of us ride on the platform of no time. I know how life in the city is playing a fast one on all of us. Many of us have time to do other things and relegate this important part of upbringing of our children to day care attendants and nannies. But, you must know that your part in this upbringing can’t be relegated to anybody.
5. CREATE A FUN TIME WITH DAD AND MUM
This is the time where the child is allowed to tell an interesting story he or she has learned or heard with the parents. The quite ones would find it difficult to tell a story for the first time, but continuous encouragement will make the child develop the skills to tell his her own story. Many parents are too serious about work, thus creating ‘artificial interactions with their kids. Create an intimate bond and relationship with your kids from the onset.
If you didn’t have time to bond properly with your own child, or children, a time will come when they will not be available when you need them. Why, because you are just an ‘artificial mum’ or ‘artificial dad” but no bond exist between you and your children during their formative years. Most men in the name of chasing money to take care of the home, neglect this very important issue to women. It is not sufficient enough to provide money and pay utility bills but take time to know your children’s likes and dislikes, fears and worries and expectation of you, as a dad. I will be very happy to hear from you. Send me an e-mail through our at e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. I will respond and have a fruitful discussion with you.
6. ASSIST YOUR CHILD TO DO HIS OR HER SCHOOL WORK
As a professional teacher with over a decade of teaching, I have observed that pupils who get the support of their children and parents do well and develop interest in academic work. Dear parents, where are you? Your children want you to show interest in their school work. Don’t be too hard on your children because of time. Show interest in their school work and they will reciprocate your good gesture through academic excellence. Don’t provide only their physical needs but be in touch with what they bring home. You might not know anything about the subject because the curriculum keeps changing, but your mere presence will be motivating enough. As a father of four young children, 9, 7, 5 and 3 years, I spend time every day to supervise them daily before going to school the following day. ‘Where there is a will, there is a way’.
Have relax Sunday and stay blessed in the bosom of the Lord Almighty
Are you all out for you’re the relationship or you hanging on and looking for a greener grass at the end of the other side. Some people are not inside the relationship and blame themselves for making the wrong decision, but fail to measure their commitments in growing, nurturing, watering and pruning it to maturity. If you know that you get what you put into your relationship, you will stop handling it anyhow and make total commitment in your relationship.
Read these 5 things we don’t take serious when we enter into relationship
1. Respect Your In-Laws
Your partner is coming from a family. He or she wasn’t living on an island before you met him or her. Take note of the mother and the father. Periodically visit them and give them some gifts. They will appreciate it.
Remember you will not remain the way you are forever. Your child will also grow and get married and leave you one day. When that happens, you also become an in law.
Do not forget his or her siblings and call them to find out how they are doing. It is very important to build your relationship around these people who matter to him. When problems come up between you and your partner, your in-laws come handy to provide assistance.
They serve as counsellors because they command so much influence in your partner’s life.
Don’t view your in-laws as intruders. They are part and parcel of the relationship. They make the whole relationship or marriage union complete. In some cultures, the in-laws play significant role in the marriage arrangement.
When your in-laws are heavily involved in constituting the marriage, divorces in such marriages are rare. The man or woman will think twice before taking any wrong decision.
2. Avoid Discouraging Words during Difficult Times
We all have ups and downs at certain periods in our journey to success. It can be a very difficult road to travel. Discouragement can set in, leading to frustration and disappointments. This period especially in a man’s journey can be very confusing.
Some men can easily throw in the towel if they lack self-tenacity to continue pressing on. It can make men to easily give up and resort to suicide to end it all. This is the moment you need to encourage him to continue all the good things he has started.
Your encouragement will serve as a morale booster for him. Men need the catalyst from their partners to press on. Even if he fails by not taking your special advice, don’t discourage him in his new adventure. No one knows which of his exploits will succeed.
Successful people are not without failures, but they are people who continue to learn from their mistakes until they finally achieve success. Words are powerful. God formed the earth by his spoken words.
Learn to choose your words carefully. Encourage him with positive words as much as possible. Know that you will be part of his success story. When he fails the whole family has failed and so is when he succeeds the whole family will rejoice.
Men, encourage your partners to achieve their dreams as well. Don’t confine them to the house but encourage them when they are down. She needs your encouragement as well when things are not going well with her. Encourage her to speak out about what is bothering her and in that way, you can assist her. Let your p
3. Don’t Take Your Partner’s Calls for Granted
Taking very important things like calls for granted can create problem for you in the relationship. Don’t tell yourself “after all”, it is Edwards who is calling”. The mere fact that he is your partner does not mean you should take him for granted.
Some people develop strange behaviors after they enter into a relationship. Your inability to pick his call can be interpreted as taking him o for granted and he no longer mean anything to you. If genuinely you missed his call, be courteous to call him back. It shows how serious you have taken your partner.
Taking his calls for granted is a recipe for disaster in your relationship. You should value how much attention you pay to your partner’s calls. Do unto others what you want them do to you. These are little but important things we take for granted that finally destroy the love in the relationship. Bottom line; never take your partners calls for granted.
4. Stop Assault on Your Partner
What distinguishes us from animals is our ability to control our anger and emotions. You are human and can be angry because we dislike certain behaviors of our partners. You are not alone. I do get mad about certain things that did not go down well in the house.
In the midst of all these things, it never crosses her mind to lay her hand on me or push me. Don’t forget we have women beaters because they are stronger than the men they married. That display of ‘animal like’ behavior belongs to the animal kingdom. Avoid pushing your husband with the least provocation.
Men are not supposed to beat their partners-so are women. Do not allow your anger to lead you into physical assault on your partner. Learn to control your anger and emotions. You are more rational than animals.
5. Deal with Dissatisfaction Feeling in the Relationship
The journey of marriage is long and demands hard work, perseverance, commitment, patience and “can do” attitude to make it work.
When things are not going well it may seem you have made the wrong decision for marrying him. Hold on and trust your supreme God, who makes all things beautiful at his own time.
Sometimes our negative thought brings about the way we feel and the result we get in our relationship. If you are always thinking of marrying the wrong person, you would ruin any good thing in your partner and you will continue to feel dissatisfy with him.
Most women pack their bags and leave the home when things are very difficult only to realize that their one time broke husbands are now multimillionaires.
Have you created a lovely atmosphere in the home for him to miss home anytime he is out of the house? Something about you might be chasing him out of the house. Do you call him to find out when he will be closing from work? Do you call to tell him you have prepared his favorite meal and want him soon at home? Do you call to tell him you are waiting for his French kiss?
The questions could go on and on. But these questions draw the men home after work. It makes them connect to their partners anytime they are out of the house. Create something unique that will make your partner want to come home after he closes from work. Don’t allow alcohol or other things to be his second partner after work.
How do you handle her weakness? Do you shout at her and treat her like a maid. If you don’t have her back in the relationship, you will always find something wrong with her. My wife has a problem of arranging things orderly. It gets me unhappy initially in our marriage, but having realized this as her weakness, I stopped talking about it and rearranged anything that she has disorganized in the home. You can also do likewise to avoid conflict in your relationship.
Stay Blessed and Happy May Day
Your negative attitude can make him go cold
WHY MEN GO COLD TOWARDS THEIR PARTNERS
1.Failure to Pamper Him Once In A While
Who tells you men do not like to be pampered once in a while. Men were once boys before they became men. Decide to prepare his delicious food and feed him like a child. Put on top of him when having sex that special day you’ve set aside to pamper him. Instead of him being on top, climb him and be in charge of the process. Clean him nicely after the process and serve him with his favourite wine. Take him out and drive the car. You are the one in charge of everything that special day you set aside. Make him feel like a small boy.
Men love it when women take charge sometimes. Remember if you sow this type of seed into the relationship, you will get a double portion from the man. Unless you are living with an “ungrateful human being” who calls himself a man. About 99% of all men would reciprocate the things I have asked you to practice. I am a man and I know it works magic on men. Practice them and gauge the attitude of your partner towards you.
2.Failure to Respect His Families
Your husband is coming from a family. He wasn’t living on an island before you married him. Take note of his mother and father. Periodically visit them and give them some gifts. They will appreciate it. Remember you will not remain the way you are forever. Your child will also grow and get married one day. When that happens, you also become an in law. Do not forget his siblings and call them to find out how they are doing. It is very important to build your relationship around these people who matter to him. When problems come up between you and your husband, the in-laws come handy to provide assistance.
They serve as counsellors because they command so much influence in his life. Don’t view your in-laws as intruders. They are part and parcel of the relationship. They make the whole marriage union complete. In some cultures, the in-laws play significant role in the marriage arrangement. When in-laws are heavily involved in constituting the marriage, divorces in such marriages are rare. The man will think twice before taking any decision. Modernity in the 21st century has gradually throw this cherished value away. It is nice to recognize the parents. After all, your husband did not come out of the blue. Someone might be responsible for his growing up.
3.Failure to Encourage Him
We all have ups and downs at certain periods in our journey to success. It can be a very difficult road to travel. Discouragement can set in, leading to frustration and disappointment. This period in a man’s journey can be very challenging. Some men can easily throw in the towel if they lack self-tenacity to continue pressing on. This is the moment you need to encourage him to continue all the good things he has started. Your encouragement will serve as a morale booster for him. Men need the catalyst from their partners to press on. Even if he fails by not taking your special advice, don’t discourage him in his new adventure. No one knows which of his exploits will succeed.
Successful people are not without failures, but they are people who continue to learn from their mistakes until they arrive at their final destination. Words are powerful. God formed the earth by his spoken words. Learn to choose your words carefully. Encourage him with positive words as much as possible. Know that you will be part of his success story. When he fails the whole family has failed and so is when he succeeds the whole family will rejoice.
4.Failure to Respond to His Call Promptly
Taking very important things for granted can create problem in the relationship. Don’t tell yourself “after all, it is Sammy who is calling”. The mere fact that he is your husband does not mean you should take him for granted. Some women develop strange behaviours after the marriage. Your inability to pick his call can lead to huge financial loss to him.
If genuinely you’ve missed his call, be courteous to call him back. It shows how serious you have taken your partner. Taking him for granted is a recipe for disaster in your relationship. We value how much attention you pay to our calls. Do unto others what you want them do to you. These are little but important things we take for granted that finally destroy the spark in the marriage. Bottom line; never take his calls for granted.
5.Failure to Stop Physical Fight With Him
What distinguishes us from animals is our ability to control our anger. You are human and can be angry because we dislike certain behaviours of our partners. You are not alone. I do get mad about certain things that did not go well in the house. But in the midst of all these things, it never crosses my mind to lay my hand on her or push her.
Some women physically assault their husbands, a big shame to these women, because men do not have any right to assault women. Men are not supposed to beat their wives. So are women. Do not allow your anger to lead you into physical assault of your partner. Learn to control your anger and emotions. You are more rational than animals. Do not lower yourself to their level. Don’t give the opportunity for your husband to retaliate by hitting you back.
6.Failure to Make Him Comfortable
Do not create problems at home. Some women have made the home uncomfortable for their husbands to an extent that the man doesn’t even feel like coming home after work. Their attitudes at home makes the men take solace elsewhere than their own homes. If you belong to these groups of women, you have to reflect on your behaviour towards your own husband. Have you created a lovely atmosphere in the home for him to miss home anytime he is out of the house? Something about you might be chasing him out of the house.
Do you call him to find out when he will be closing from work? Do you call to tell him you have prepared his favourite meal and want him soon at home? Do you call to tell him you are waiting for his French kiss? The questions could go on and on. But these questions draw the men home after work. It makes them connect to their partners anytime they are out of the house. Create something unique that will make your husband want to come home after he closes from work. Don’t allow alcohol or other things to be his second partner after work.
Reflect on these 6 failures and you can walk your way back to the arms of your partner
Mr. Mark Cuban, an investor, a success America businessman worth celebrating
This is a post from Lifehack I want to share with you my cherish readers. It’s written by one of the successful personal motivational writer, a millionaire, a speaker, a trainer and a success coach. You will definitely pick one thing or the other
Everything that you’ve ever achieved, and want to accomplish comes from you – your mind.
You set the limits and expectations for what you want in life, which is why I mentioned yesterday, that the first step to breaking free from your limitations, is to learn how to control and change your perception of your current situation.
With this in mind, you can now actively take charge of your circumstances to build and create new opportunities.
So how do you begin?
Think of being at the beach, where you can see the tides coming in. When the tide is against you, it feels like an uphill battle. But when the tide is with you, like when you’re surfing, suddenly there’s this invisible force – a momentum that pushes you along and you’re able to ride the waves smoothly, like how that momentum pushes you towards your goal.
So part of taking charge of your circumstances is to systematically turn the tides in your favor.
That means actively and strategically building up momentum for yourself, to propel you where you want to go.
But first, you have to know what you want. You need to know where you’re going in order to set the right goals and the right actions to start getting there, right.
Next, you also need to see things in terms of Trends.
Do you believe that a big change requires some sort of big, dramatic decision?
Well that’s not always the case…
The truth is, that change, especially big change, almost never happens as a sudden, one-off result. They don’t happen in a sudden impulsive decision, because those almost never turn out well.
The outcomes that do succeed, are a result of a build-up of underlying factors that probably started a long time ago.
Think of the last major decision you made. The seeds that culminated in it, were probably planted months or maybe even a year before, am I right?
You can say that those seeds began a new life trend that started gaining momentum as you put more actions into it. And this really is how your life works.
It’s a series of trends. And a trend is a direction of change – it’s always moving forward.
But the thing about trends is that they’re either going up or down, and some are moving faster than others, but they’re always moving.
Another thing about trends is that you don’t notice the change happening at the time. The vast majority of change happens behind the scenes, and builds up over time. It’s not until it passes a critical point when it suddenly becomes apparent.
Real change comes from where your trends are taking you. Because a trend is like a river, once it builds up momentum, it becomes a force of its own, and nothing can stop it from reaching its destination.
So the secret to turning the tides to your favor, is to control your trends.
But a trend doesn’t start with your actions.
Like your limitations, it starts from your perspective – how you see the thing you’re trying to change. So once you change your perspective, believe it or not, you’ve already started creating a new trend.
You’ll start doing things differently, and soon enough it’ll become automatic. Slowly at first, but over time, these will build up into a completely new you in that part of your life.
So since trends are realized over time, this means that it’s important to start now, because big change is like a snowball. It accumulates from lots of consistent actions.
The upside to viewing change in terms of trends, is that you can start enjoying the change immediately. And the change doesn’t stop, as long as the trend keeps building up. It’ll continue to grow and get bigger and bigger…
The biggest difference between those who experience breakthroughs and those who don’t, is that the ones who see breakthroughs go through a total shift in mindset. They realize a need to see things differently, and as a result, they’re able to act differently which leads to successful outcomes.
Once you’ve experienced that shift in perspective, you’re halfway through the journey of breaking free from your current situation.
Tomorrow, I’ll show you how to journey through the second half of your breakthrough.
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Lifehack, 90 Church Street #3514, New York, NY 10007, United States
Women know what to do right in their relationship
What we continually do in our everyday undertakings becomes our habits. Knowing what to do and failing not to do it from time to time and expecting the worse, becomes something sociologist called self-fulfilling prophecy. Look at this way-knowing that something bad could happen to you as a result of your attitudes and behavior toward your partner and when it does happen becomes your own doing.
These are the four things women do to create silence in their relationship.
1. Failure to Engage Your Partner in All Your Undertakings
Once you are blessed to have a partner as your permanent mate, you must be opened and get your partner involved in everything you do. Don’t keep anything you do as private anymore.
Unfortunately, most people in a relationship still keep certain things secret in their engagement with their partners. If your partner finds out that he has been side-lined from some important decision, you should be prepared to deal with mistrust.
Once mistrust has been established, the foundation of the relationship will begin to shake. It is difficult to deal with mistrust and everything should be done to involve your partner in all your doings. Don’t create silence in your relationship by doing things secretly
Don’t hide your true financial status and business ventures from your partner. Don’t engage in any secret affair and keep it as a secret from your partner.
2. Create More Surprises
We all get excited when we receive surprise gifts from our lovely partners. These surprises make us feel we are loved and cherished. It connects us the more to our partners and put our mind at rest. It reminds us that your partner thinks of you and wants you to be happy. Make surprises in your relationship a regular feature.
Occasional buy something for him like (boxer shot, shoes, shirt etc.) and what you think will make him scream when he received them.
Women, do surprise your partner with his favorite food he was not expecting or different sex position. Let him do something naughty he has not done before. You should be able to know what will make your partner happy and get him falling in love with you again and again.
3. Create Humor and Fun
In my two previous books (Secret Men Desires & Hidden Secrets of Women) I have illustrated with clear evidence that relationship should be created every day. What this means is that there is no relationship that can create itself if the partners involved did not take the trouble to make it the way they want it to be.
Many people in a relationship take it like a world cup without any opportunity for fun and humor. You have the creative ability to make your partner laugh as often as possible. Tease him when your partner comes back from work.
Don’t be too serious in your relationship with your partner. Life is like an ice cream; enjoy it when it is caked or you will wait for it to melt away from you. Make it possible for your partner to have fun in the relationship with you
Most men are too strict with their partners without any allowance for fun or humor. Such men turn the relationship into a military academy. That’s why you must calm and entertain him. Make your partner feels at home to play with you and make you his dependable partner and friend. After all the saying ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’ should play a center role your relationship.
4. You Aren’t Dating Him Anymore
Do you know that all men were once boys and still have the ‘boys’ in them? Your partner has a boy in him despite his age. Try and woo him every day by some of the stuff you use to tell him when you were seeking hard to get him to bed.
In fact, from my over 15 years of experience in relationship matters, I realized that men also want you to lobby them once in a while. Tell him something nice especially his appearance; how great he looks in her new shirt.
The world of men is so special; so, women ought to school themselves every day to be able to win in their relationship matters with men. If you know how to handle men, you will realize that they are not difficult to please.
‘If you fail to date him again, ‘a naughty lady’ will connect the dots and win him over by flirting with him. Don’t stop dating him again and again by what you do in the relationship. He want to be your best friend, travel with you, and hold your hair gently with his hand
5. Making Him Feel Special
Your partner wants other men to envy you-for having you as his number one partner. He wants to feel special in your arms and will do anything possible to maintain that status around you. In the eyes of the public, he wants to be envied and he cherish it as being lucky to have a great lady like you.
You must endeavor to help him both materially and financially to make him live up to that expectation. The more he feels happy about the relationship, the more he will give out himself out to you.
In fact, do you know how lucky he feels having you as his partner while his friends are still struggling to find suitable partners? Help him to feel truly lucky having you as his partner so as to make her friends ‘envy’ her. Making a man feel happy isnot difficult, it is an art everybody can learn including you.
Today is a special Friday, because Christians all over the world including me are morning the crucifixion of their Jesus Christ on the cross. I want to encourage you to give your life wholly to him- for he cares and love you.
Stay blessed under his protection
EXCUSES MAKE YOU NOT TO TRY
No more excuses! Do it or don’t do it – don’t make excuses. Your incredible brain to think up elaborate rationalization and justifications for not taking action. Do something. Do anything. Get on with it! Repeat to yourself: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” – Brain Tracy
A lot of us think something big should happen in the form of having large sums of money to start a business or a project, connection to “a big political office holder” being born into a rich family or getting educated up to the master’s level to be successful.
It’s a fact that very few people start off with many advantages. But the truth be told. Many people start from nothing and work their way to where they find themselves today. One quality that most philosophers, teachers and experts in the success industry agreed on is the ability of the individual to be self-discipline and take personal initiative
Let examine the 5 reasons why excuse giving only reduces you to live a low life
1. EXCUSES ARE ENEMY TO PROGRESS
Many people are still thinking of what decision to take and the ideal time to execute such elaborate decision in their head. Our head is a goldmine- with so many ideas competing in your mind to come out to help others and the world at large. There’s no perfect time and day in the world to start implementing what you strongly feel about to do.
The path of least resistance is what causes people to take the easy way in almost every situation they find themselves. Such people seek to rationalize everything or give excuses for their inability to take the hard path. These type of people arrive at work late, waste a lot of time discussing trivial matters and leave at the first opportunity. They also look for get-rich quick scheme and opportunities.
I wouldn’t be a writer, a blogger, a teacher, a family man and a counselor- if I make excuses my national anthem as many people do on daily basis. There’s no short cut for real progress in life. All successes come from very hard work and those who want to enjoy successful life one day must be prepare to pay the price
2. EXCUSES HELP US TO STAY IN OUR COMFOET ZONES
When the Sociologist Dr. Edward Banfield of Harvard University conducted a fifty-year study into the reasons for upward socio-economic mobility in America, He concluded that the most important single attribute of people who achieved great in life was long time perspective. He defined time perspective as the amount of time an individual takes into consideration when determining his present action.
Do you have a long term plan as to where you want to go from where you want to be in the years to come, think long term and get out to do something now? Successful people have 5-10 years as to what they want to achieve in the set time, all things being equal. They move into action immediately to get the result they want to see in the days they set for themselves.
How long have you being into your comfort zone and day dream your perfect future? Nothing will be achieved if you failed to go after what you want. In fact, that’s the way the success equation is structured. Stop whining and complaining. You complain about time, money, opportunity, lack of education etc. If success is like eating pizza or pouring milk into coffee, everybody would have been successful.
Your ability to think, plan and work hard in the short-long term and the courage to discipline yourself to do what is right and necessary, before you do what is fun and easy, is the key to creating the kind of future you want for yourself.
3. EXCUSES HELP US TO JUSTIFY OUR MEDIOCRITY
The businessman, Herbert Grey conducted a long term study searching for what he called “the common denominator of success” After eleven good years, he concluded that the common denominator of success was that “successful people make a habit of doing the things that unsuccessful people don’t like to do.
Nobody likes to pay the price for success-both the successful and the unsuccessful, but the successful people pay the price all the same. That’s the difference. If you are not willing to sacrifice your time to pay the price, forget about success. Do you like what you are doing? The inside of you is not happy about what you are doing- so, stop justifying it and stop deceiving your soul that all is well.
Motivational speaker Denis Waitley has said that the top people were those who were more concerned with activities that were “goal achieving whereas average people were more concerned with activities that were tension relieving”
4. EXCUSES NEVER ENCOURAGE US TO TAKE ACTION
“The first and best victory is to conquer self” (unknown)
The question many people ask every day is: why do some people accomplish so much in their personal and professional lives than others? This question has occupied some of the very best minds throughout human history. Aristotle opined that the ultimate aim of human life is to be happy. He said the question that each of us must answer is “How shall we live in order to be happy?
When you are able to ask and answer that question correctly for yourself and then follow where the answer leads you-will largely determine whether you achieve your own happiness, and how soon. I am yet to come across anybody who wants to remain in his or her low state of life. I want to achieve success that will pave the way for me and my family to be happy. I know you want to achieve the same for yourself and family.
Don’t allow anything to hold you back from taking a decisive action. The road to a successful life is a personal determined effort, nothing more, nothing less.
5. EXCUSES ONLY LEAD US TO FAILURE
The great oil man, H.L. Hunt, who was at one time richest self-made billionaire in the world, was once asked by a television journalist for his “secret of success”. He replied “There are only three requirements for success. First, decide exactly what it is you want in life. Second, determine the price to pay for success that you are going to have to pay to get the things you want. And third, and this is most important, resolve to pay that price”
Most people don’t really know exactly what they want and what they should be doing to get what they want? How are you preparing to pay the price? Is it not time to drop your excuses and do something you have been dreaming about all these years?
Motivational Speaker, Zig Ziglar says, “The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open” What Ziglar was saying is that there’s no perfect way to success. The road is rough but open to everybody. It’s up to you to turn your path, your own to get the best out of the way.
Do You Know You Can Predict Your Own Success in the Future?
“Nothing can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talents. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent-Calvin Coolidge
Success, according to most success coach, who are themselves self-made millionaires, are predictable just like writing exams and predicting the outcome of your effort. If you prepare well, you would be able to predict the outcome of the examination result.
Success they is not a matter of luck. It took me long enough to discover this hard truth. I thought successful people are just lucky and didn’t have to put in any effort at all. By associating yourself with the under listed hard principle, you can predict your own success just like predicting the date for the birth of your child.
If you agree with me, you will have advantage over people who not actually know or who are failing to practice these winning principles
1. Be Proactive and Take decisive Action
One of the fine qualities of many self-made millionaires is that they think very carefully, but make prompt decisions. They’ve appetite for action and are focused to carry out the decision they have made. Most of them move fast and get quick result from their actions. If they find out they have made mistakes, they are quick to adjust and start something new. How focus are you in taking quick action to decide what necessary steps to take to achieving result.
The ingredient to success is for you to try again and again. Successful individuals are very decisive and try many more things than other average people. According to the law of possibilities, if you try far more different ways to be successful, the odds are that you will eventually find out the right way for you at the right time.
The majority of the world’s population are indecisive because most people lack the motivation to carry on with their plan. Successful people however, know that they should do or stop doing certain things, but they do not have the character or the willpower to make definite decisions. As a result, they drift through life, never happy, fulfilled or being successful. This type of people never become wealthy or achieve financial independence. Most average thinking people settle for far less than is possible for them.
Anytime you become decisive and take pragmatic action, you shift your entire life into gear 5. You get far more done in a day than other people. You move ahead far faster than the people around you. When you do this, you actually tap into a higher source of energy packed by enthusiasm and motivation that fills you with joy. This positive energy then propels you as an individual forward and faster toward your goals.
Can I ask you one question: what one action if any you ought to take immediately in order to achieve the result of your goal?
2. Never Allow Failure to be a Hindrance
One of the finest statesman of US history, Franklin D. Roosevelt once said “there is nothing to fear but fear itself.
The fear of failure still remains the greatest obstacle to success in adult life and not failure itself. Did you get that?
Failure actually makes you stronger and more prepared than ever before. It’s the fear of failure or the anticipation of failure that can paralyze your thought and hold you back from even trying to do the things that you need to do to be a big success.
When a journalist one day asked Thomas J. Watson Sr., the founder of IBM, HOW HE COULD BE MORE SUCCESSFUL FASTER. Watson replied with this encouraging words: “If you want to be successful faster, you must double your rate of failure. Success lies on the far side of failure”. Dare to take responsibility and don’t hesitate to go forward. Most self-made millionaires are not gamblers but they are willing to do what we called calculated risks in the direction off their goals to achieve the expected rewards.
You shouldn’t be risk averse (afraid of taking risk) In fact, your attitude towards risk is directly proportional to your ability to become wealthy. Surround yourself with positive people whenever you are faced with risky situation, ask for advice. The fact is that we are all afraid of failure to some extent. I guess everybody including me is afraid of loss, including poverty. Everybody seems to be afraid of making mistakes and being found out. But most self-made millionaires are people who deliberately face this fear and take action anyway.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Make a habit throughout your life of doing the things that you fear. If you do the things you fear, the death of fear is certain” Anytime we take the initiate to act boldly, the universe come to our aid. Every step you make increases your capacity to face the future. Continue to stay focus in the forward direction with no assurance of success. When you do this, your fear will diminish and your self-confidence increases.
Your preoccupation with this fear thing, is to commit yourself to becoming self-made millionaire. Continue to remind yourself, in the face of all the problems and difficulties that will come your way, failure is not an option. The yes I can attitude more than anything else, will eventually guarantee your long term success
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3. Pass the Persistent Acid Test
A rich man living in our neighborhood once said “If I want to achieve anything meaningful in life, I should be focus and persistence-because it is an absolute indispensable quality that goes hand in hand with all great achievements in life.
Program your subconscious mind for persistence well in advance of any challenge and disappointments on your upward desire toward success. When you take this decision, it will enable you to resolve in advance, that, you will never give up, no matter how long and no matter what happens on the way.
The reality is that when we are overwhelmed as human with problems, we don’t have the sound mind and time to develop the necessary persistence to deal with the disappointments or the mistakes. However, when we plan in advance for the inevitable ups and downs of life, when they eventually come, we will be psychologically and emotionally prepare to handle it.
The ability to continue in the face of adversity and disappointment is the one quality than anything else that will guarantee your success. Your ability to persevere more than anyone else is a hallmark that will enable you to achieve success quicker and faster. In fact, your persistence is a true measure of your own belief in yourself and your ability to succeed.
Be prepared to take the acid test of life if you are not joking with your desire to achieve success in all areas of your life. For you to have great success, you must pass the persistent Acid Test. It can come anytime when you are least prepared. I went to my bank and applied for a loan for a project. All things point to the fact that I would be given the money at the end of the week, which never happened, but was told the following week that my application was declined without any tangible reasons. I have prepared for this facility to finish a project but, was disappointed.
This is where you must show yourself to the people around you, what you are truly made of. I didn’t give up but continue to seek fund to complete the project. Epictetus, a Greek philosophy, once wrote, “Circumstances do not make the man. They merely reveal him to himself”
The only factor you can control in your life is how you respond to difficulties and setbacks that come your way. And the good news is that every time you respond in a positive and constructive manner, you automatically become stronger and better. This puts you in a better position to deal with any crisis that comes along.
You become a kind of person who never quits, no matter the crisis that comes your way, you will find a way over it or around it.
What about reading 8 Life Madness You Shouldn’t Allow You to Send You to Hell
By practicing the 3 principle we talked about, your success will be predictable-because you move to the front of the line in life ahead of many people. This will give you an incredible advantage. You will have the winning edge for the rest of your life. If you consistently and persistently do the things successful people do, nothing under the sun can stop you from becoming a big success.
Enjoy Your Sunday and Stay Blessed
GIVE LIFE YOUR BEST SHOT AND SUCCESS WILL BE YOUR REWARD
Many people still go through life without realizing that, the world is a neutral judge when it comes to what you want to become and how you want to live your life. Yes, I understand when you say “the world is not fair” to a very large extent-but, who tells you, it’s going to be fair some days to come.
Even from the creation narratives, there’s no fairness. People where favored more than the others. It’s the creator own design for things to go the way it does. The story of Essau and Jacob, Hannah and Penninah and Esther a slave girl, chosen above all other virgins to become a queen due to God’s favor, that discriminate her from the others. People were privileged to be born into rich families through no effort of theirs. Others were born in a developed world through no effort of theirs while the rest were born in a developing world, through no effort of them. At the same time, others were born into war ravaged countries and suffer the effect of war they have no hand in.
I can go on and on. But, the reality is that, people become successful no matter how difficult the situation the find themselves as a people. They take advantage of their precarious situation and make life out of their mere existence. Below are the 6 common sense approach to life success you must learn to admit and move on with your life, no matter where you find yourself under the planet.
1. LEARN TO BE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF
It’s very difficult to admit that the majority of people still think someone should be responsible for their life some way, somehow. In fact, I was having that wrong notion sometimes ago, without looking at what I can do to help myself. I thought I was helpless and nothing can be done about my situation.
I went to school and had my degrees and came back to see ordinary school drop outs in my locality being successful by what they do- build their houses and buy their own cars. I asked myself the hard question one day, when my young niece of 10 years, wanted to know why I couldn’t buy a car like my other school mates, who dropped out of school.
I feel embarrass and went to my room and shed a little tears. The reality check came and I told myself, Emmanuel you got to do something out of life and you must start this very minute. I decided to take 100% responsibility for life. I stop complaining, listening to political news about corruptions and what our government is failing to do right. I stop joining people who are negative in their thinking and start thinking straight about what I must do to improve my living condition from now.
I started facing my own faring square and dancing to my own music. I told myself, I also deceive the good things in life. Since then, I started seeing improvement in my life, because I am spending more time to do what I love to do and less time to do what I don’t want in life. What’s your current situation? Do you like where you are and what are you doing? Do you take 100% responsibility for what you do? Stop wasting time to listen to your politicians and news detractors. The day you decide to take personal responsibility of your life, you will join the world 20% population, who become successful.
2. LEARN TO STOP THE BLAME GAME
Are you still blaming your parents or your birth place, your government’s inability to give you good education, your failure to live in a decent neighborhood, live in a beautiful house or drive a nice car? Who cares what you blame? If you have any blame at all, blame yourself for taking some decisions in life that didn’t help you and learn from those mistakes to become a better person in life. Don’t dwell on your mistakes for too long and fail to take any action to correct them
I made plenty of mistakes in life out of ignorance and learn to take the hard path to create a new life for myself and family. Don’t allow the mistakes of yesterday determines your tomorrow. If you can focus on what you want to achieve in life, you would stop playing the blame game and remain focus towards the achievement of your major purpose in life.
Anytime you drive in your city or town, you are amazed to see new beautiful buildings, new registered cars, new businesses etc. in the same economy you live. They might be doing something right to get to where they are- you can also get there if you are determined and drop your gun on blaming others for your mistakes and failures.
3. LEARN TO UTILIZE YOUR GOD GIVING TALENT
You have something in you to give to the world. Yes, you have. Nobody is born without anything in him or her to develop and make life better for himself and herself. Some people are quick to know what they have in them that can be beneficial to themselves and the world.
Even, if you can’t identify your talent and others close to you couldn’t do that either, you can still learn from others? Yes, I believe in the saying: “Follow the follower” Do what successful people do and with time you too will become successful. Some people become footballers not necessarily as a result of talent in football, but the money and other incentives that accompany it made them learn to develop the interest. Be motivated by success to give life your best shot.
Nobody is born a business man or woman or an entrepreneur but, they learn from others to do likewise and today, they become successful like them. Don’t sit down and give up in life. It’s not too late to start a new career, a new business or hobby. I am waiting to read your success story one day
4. LEARN TO AVOID EXCUSES
Those who continue to give excuses are not ready to face the reality of life. It’s easy to give excuses and justify it with tangible reasons. But, the fact still remains, excuse givers never achieve anything tangible in life. They give excuses for lack of proper education, bad governance in their country, corruption of state officials, bad economy, their inability to connect to the right people in government etc.
All the above mention excuses exist in any economy in the world, from South Africa to Nigeria, from Brazil to Mexico, from the United States to the UK. But, there are millionaires and billionaires in all these countries especially in the US. People come to the US with nothing to declare to officials at the airport, but are now success business men and women. Surprisingly, most of the millionaires are self-made millionaires, who, through the dint of hard work, become who they are today. Leave the excuses for your child, so that you can encourage him or her to take full responsibility for his or her action in life.
5. LEARN TO RECOGNIZE THAT THE WORLD OWES YOU NOTHING
I indicated earlier that the world is a neutral referee. It doesn’t take part in what we do as individual, as a country or state. The world is like the first computer lesson I learned from my instructor some years ago. Baggage in, baggage out. What you feed the computer with, is what the computer process and the result is what you see on your screen.
So, is the world you find yourself? What you sow today is what you will reap tomorrow, it doesn’t matter which corner of the world you find yourself. Work very hard and wait for the reward of your labor. Don’t be in a hurry to achieve result within the shortest time. The waiting period makes many people to give up on their dreams. Hold onto your dream, no matter how long it takes to achieve that dream.
Continue to work in the quiet and the world will celebrate you in the open. Be the master of your life and not a victim.